SNL Transcripts: Hugh Hefner: 10/15/77: Angora Bouquet

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 3

77c: Hugh Hefner / Libby Titus

Angora Bouquet

Wife…..Jane Curtin
Husband…..Bill Murray

[ open on married couple raking leaves in their backyard ]

Wife: Hi. I’m beautiful, but stupid. And I’ve found the soap that helps me stay that way. My husband says I look natural and unspoiled, and he loves the way I never bother him with my opinions. Let’s face it — good looks and complex human emotions just don’t mix. I guess that’s why I use Angora Bouquet with pH Formula 23.

[ dissolve to footage of Wife washing her face, as the image makes waves ]

Wife V/O: Angora Bouquet’s thousands of tiny tranquilizers penetrate your skin to wash reality away, and make your mind and skin as clear as a baby’s. You see, Angora Bouquet actually contains methaqualone, the same tranquilzing agent that is found in those large white pills I often come across in Bill, Jr.’s jeans pockets when I do the laundry.

[ dissolve back to Wife in the yard, raking leaves with the rake held upside-down ]

[ her husband turns her rake over to the correct position ]

Husband: Honey, why don’t you try the other side of the rake? You can get a little more leaves that way.

Wife: I guess that’s why my soap is Angora Bouquet with pH Formula 23.

[ she accidentally steps on the rake, sending it slamming into her husband’s face ]

Announcer: Angora Bouquet. Washes your brain, as well as your face.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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