SNL Transcripts: Charles Grodin: 10/29/77


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 4

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 29th, 1977

Charles Grodin

Paul Simon

The Persuasions

Art Garfunkel

Al Franken

Tom Davis

Alan Zweibel

Michael O’Donoghue

Neil Levy

Tom Schiller

Unprepared CharlesSummary: The cast are upset when Charles Grodin misses dress rehearsal so he can buy gifts for everyone.



Charles Grodin’s MonologueSummary: Charles Grodin confesses that he didn’t realize there would be an audience, and he wishes he had put more time aside to rehearse.


Weekend Update PromoSummary: While the rest of the world sleeps, a groggy-eyed Dan Aykroyd stays awake to prepare the next night’s news.


Return of The ConeheadsSummary: Back on Earth in time for Halloween, The Conehead Family dispense fried egg embryos and beer to trick-or-treaters.

Recurring Characters: Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead.


Charles’ Movie

Paul Simon performs “Slip Sliding Away”First Performed: 75b.

Consumer ProbeSummary: Irwin Mainway’s (Dan Aykroyd) unsafe Halloween costumes include the Invisible Pedestrian and Johnny Combat.

Recurring Characters: Irwin Mainway.


The “Anyone Can Host” ContestSummary: Bill Murray updates viewers on the contest’s progress as Michael O’Donoghue rejects entries for various minor infractions.


Samurai Dry CleanersSummary: Impressed by the premise, Charles Grodin ruins John Belushi’s performance as Samurai Futaba by commenting on it throughout the sketch.

Recurring Characters: Futaba.


Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydSummary: Entertainment reporter Bill Murray criticizes one-man shows for not being a real theatrical experience. Dr. Willard Jackson (Garrett Morris) shows Dan Aykroyd the bones of famous dead people.

Simon & GarfunkelSummary: Paul Simon is vexed by Charles Grodin’s need to do a duet with him while donning an Art Garfunkel wig, which Art Garfunkel himself relinquishes.


The Killer BeesSummary: Thrown by the costumes, Charles Grodin ruins John Belushi’s performance as the leader of the Killer Bees and is promptly told off.

Recurring Characters: Bees.


The Judy Miller ShowSummary: Judy Miller (Gilda Radner), an excitable little girl, hosts a talk show for herself in her bedroom.

Recurring Characters: Judy Miller.


The Professional School of FootballSummary: Spokesman (Garrett Morris) quizzes viewers on their potential to become professional football players.


Paul Simon performs “You’re Kind”

Hire The IncompetentSummary: Dress rehearsal absentee Charles Grodin speaks out for the rights of other incompetent people.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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