Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 4
77d: Charles Grodin / Paul Simon
Weekend Update Promo
…..Dan Aykroyd
Foreground Passengers…..Tom Davis, Al Franken, Tom Schiller, Alan Zweibel
[ open on interior, airplane, late at night. All the passengers are asleep, except for Dan Aykroyd in the rear. ]
Announcer: News gathering is a tough, demanding job. News never stops happening, so the best reporters never stop working. And the “Weekend Update” reporters are the best. That’s why, on assignments from Bangor to Bangkok — or wherever the American Press is working — there will always be one reporter who hangs in there, when all the others have quit.
[ zoom in on Aykroyd as he smokes and types up a story ]
That reporter is award-winning newsman… Dan Aykroyd. He’s the guy in the “Weekend Update” news team who works overtime, staying up all night to bring you total news coverage.
[ reveal that Aykroyd is exhaustedly typing away with no sheet of paper within his typerwriter’s carriage ]
The BEST keep on working. The news doesn’t wait ’til the morning… and you can’t write the news if you’re asleep.
[ Aykroyd reaches down to pull out his copy, suddenly realizing he has been typing directly onto the carriage. He glances around, confused. ]
[ fade ]
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