Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 4
Weekend Update Promo
Foreground Passengers…..Tom Davis, Al Franken, Tom Schiller, Alan Zweibel
[ open on interior, airplane, late at night. All the passengers are asleep, except for Dan Aykroyd in the rear. ]
Announcer: News gathering is a tough, demanding job. News never stops happening, so the best reporters never stop working. And the “Weekend Update” reporters are the best. That’s why, on assignments from Bangor to Bangkok — or wherever the American Press is working — there will always be one reporter who hangs in there, when all the others have quit.[ zoom in on Aykroyd as he smokes and types up a story ]
That reporter is award-winning newsman… Dan Aykroyd. He’s the guy in the “Weekend Update” news team who works overtime, staying up all night to bring you total news coverage.[ reveal that Aykroyd is exhaustedly typing away with no sheet of paper within his typerwriter’s carriage ]
The BEST keep on working. The news doesn’t wait ’til the morning… and you can’t write the news if you’re asleep.