Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 4
Charles Grodin’s Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Charles Grodin!
Charles Grodin: Thank you very much. [ nervously ] I-I-I didn’t know that there would be an audience here. How many of you know that this is LIVE? [ the audience laughs, then claps enthusiastically ] You know… I-I’ve never seen the “Saturday Night” show… but, uh… I hear it’s a wonderful, wonderful show! Uh — I wish I had more time during the week to rehearse, and… really work on all the skits with the gang here, but… how can you come to New York and… and not see at least a couple of Broadway shows? And… I had NEVER been to the top of the World Trade Center, and, uh… you know, it’s higher than the Empire State Building? It takes FOREVER to get to the top, but you can see all of New York, and, uh… a lot of New Jersey… I think even part of Connecticut. It’s a TREMENDOUS view! So, uh… I-I haven’t been around too much this week, but, uh… I think they’ve got me in some CRAZY skits, and, uh… while I’ve been here doing some promos for the show, I-I’ve seen the kids rehearsing, and, uh… i-it looks like a really cute show! Uh — I’m gonna have a wonderful time, and, uh… I hope you do, too! Uh — w-we’ll be right back? [ he nods nervously and shrugs ]