SNL Transcripts: Mary Kay Place: 12/10/77: Pep Rally


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 7

77g: Mary Kay Place / Willie Nelson

Pep Rally

…..Mary Kay Place
…..Bill Murray
…..Dan Aykroyd
…..Laraine Newman
…..Gilda Radner
…..John Belushi
…..Jane Curtin
…..Garrett Morris

Announcer: [ over title card ] “Grizzly Adams Sets Fire To His Head” will not be seen this week, so that NBC may present the following special program.

[ fade to black ] [ open on back wall of studio, revealing the cast dressed in cheerleader outfits as Mary Kay Place bounces into position ]

Mary Kay Place: Okay, everybody! Let’s roll ’em up, move ’em in, rehearse the show, get ready to — Wait a minute! Where’s Belushi? [ no one seems to know ] Okay! Okay! Okay! Wait a minute! What are you doing? Now, let me tell you something: Belushi’s absence, all of this mish-mash here — All of this reflects an attitude that I have noticed ALL week, and that is lack of pep! Now, I wasn’t gonna tell you guys this, because the network asked me to host the show only because I could pump some pep into the show. Now, it is very, VERY difficult to pump pep into the show when the peppers are NOT participating! okay? Now — You all have NOT been partipating peppily!

Bill Murray: [ confused ] “Pep”? What do you mean, “pep”?

Mary Kay Place: I mean… pomp, enthusiasm, energy, verve, sass… You know! I just use “pep” as a catch-all phrase. Let’s be brutally honest: I want each and every one of you to look me right in the eye — Bill? Look. Right in the eye. Can you all look at me and say, “Yes, Mary Kay — Yes, I have been as peppy as possible this week!” Hmm?

Dan Aykroyd: I, for one, can’t. [ he hangs his head in shame ]

Laraine Newman: I’m sorry.

Gilda Radner: Well, I tried.

Bill Murray: I’ve had a lot of personal problems, Mary Kay.

Mary Kay Place: That’s what I though.

[ John Belushi finally shows up ]

John Belushi: Hi.

Mary Kay Place: John, where have you been, and where has your pep been?

John Belushi: “Pep”?

Mary Kay Place: Yeah. Pep. Mmm-hmm.

John Belushi: Did you say “pep”?

Mary Kay Place: Yeah. I said “pep”.

Bill Murray: That’s right, John — She said “pep”!

John Belushi: That’s what I thought you said. “Pep”. Why should I have pep? Why? I’m forced to wear this cheerleader outfit. It’s a STUPID outfit. I HATE this whole cheerleader metaphor!

Mary Kay Place: Oh.

John Belushi: Who thought of this idea, anyway? Danny?

Dan Aykroyd: Aw, come on…

Mary Kay Place: It was my idea. But the network made me do it!

Jane Curtin: I think it was a GOOD idea! There really isn’t enough pep around here, John, and YOU’RE the #1 offender! You’ve had disciplinary problems since the show began!

John Belushi: [ blowing a puff of smoke ] Well, I think you’re both FASCISTS!

Mary Kay Place: There is NOTHING fascist about PEP! I mean, you can go to ANY fascist country, and there’s hardly any pep there at all!

Jane Curtin: Yeah!

John Belushi: [ swigging a beer ] Look, I just think this whole pep things is really stupid and lame! That’s all, okay?

Mary Kay Place: Okay, okay, fine. I mean, if that’s the way you feel… I was just trying to do what the network asked me to do, I was just trying to pep things up… I don’t know, maybe for this show, lack of pep IS best! [ sobbing ] I’m sorry, I just wanted to do a good show…!

Garrett Morris: [ to Belushi ] NOW you’ve done it, man! You made the host CRY!

John Belushi: Gee, I’m sorry, Mary Kay — really. I’m sorry I made you cry. [ he grabs her shoulder] You all right, honey?

Mary Kay Place: Yeahhhh, I guess so…

John Belushi: I’ll tell you, Mary Kay — Maybe you’re right about pep. Maybe I haven’t given pep enough thought these past fifteen years or so. You know… maybe if EVERYBODY had a little more pep… there’d be less suffering in the world! Don’t you think?

All: Maybe… Yeah…

John Belushi: So, what do you say — Let’s make this the PEPPIEST show ever! What do you say, Gang?!

All: [ excited ] YEAH!!! LET’S DO IT!!!

John Belushi: What do you say, Mary Kay?

Mary Kay Place: I say let’s start the show!

[ she blows her whistle, as the cast all hump into place and a marching band appears below the balcony and marches onto the Home Base stage to stand around a circular “Saturday Night Live” banner ] [ one by one, each member of the cast bursts through the banner ]

John Belushi: JOHN!!

Jane Curtin: JANE!!

Bill Murray: BILL!!

Garrett Morris: GARRETT!!

Dan Aykroyd: DANNY!!

Gilda Radner: GILDA!!

Laraine Newman: LARAINE!!

Mary Kay Place: MARY KAY!!

[ Mary Kay jumps to the top of a cast pyramid ]

Mary Kay Place: “Jump to the left, jump to the right!”


[ the human pyramid falls ]

SNL Transcripts | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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