Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 8
December 17th, 1977
Miskel Spillman’s Graddaughter
Miskel’s JointSummary: Buck Henry and Laraine Newman are horrified to learn that John Belushi helped calm down the “Anyone Can Host” contest winner’s nerve by offering her a joint.
Miskel Spillman’s MonologueSummary: Mellowed out thanks to John Belushi, “Anyone Can Host” contest winner Miskel Spillman guards her treasured fruit bowl from Buck Henry.
Meat Wagon Action Track SetSummary: When racing cars wreck, the toy ambulance kit comes to the rescue.
American Date the Self-Concious AssociationSummary: American Date the Self-Concious Association spokeswoman (Laraine Newman) recommends that members of her organization pair off with members of the Society for the Extremely Obnoxious.
The Gift Of The MagiSummary: Robert (John Belushi) sells his watch and donates a kidney for his ailing wife, Helen (Gilda Radner), but she only sells her hair brush in order to buy him a cheap watch chain for Christmas.
Elvis Costello performs “Watching the Detectives”Also Performed: 88o, 90t.
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydRecurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Sartresky & HutchSummary: The philosophical Sartresky (Dan Aykroyd) and the rough-and-tumble Hutch (John Belushi) mediate a hostage situation involving an old friend (Bill Murray).
The Franken & Davis ShowSummary: Al Franken sings a musical tribute to his parents, Joe and Phoebe, until a painful childhood memory brings out the worst in him.
E. Buzz Miller’s Art ClassicsSummary: E. Buzz Miller (Dan Aykroyd) and co-host Christie Christina (Laraine Newman) look for naughty symbolism in classic works of art.
Recurring Characters: E. Buzz Miller, Christie Christina.
Elderly GirlfriendSummary: Jeff (John Belushi) surprises his parents (Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin) by bringing home an elderly girlfriend (Miskel Spillman) for Christmas.
Santa Says NoSummary: A drunken department store Santa (Bill Murray) delights in denying a little girl (Gilda Radner) gifts for Christmas.
Mr. Mike’s Least-Loved Bedtime Tale: The Soiled KimonoSummary: In a scene reminiscent of Edward G. Robinson and Clair Trevor in “Key Largo”, Mr. Mike (Michael O’Donoghue) forces Laraine Newman to sing an aria from “Madame Butterfly” if she wants to hear his least-loved bedtime tale of how the Soiled Kimono drink got its name.
Recurring Characters: Mr. Mike.
Elvis Costello performs “Radio, Radio”
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