SNL Transcripts: Miskel Spillman: 12/17/77: Miskel Spillman’s Monologue



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 8



77h: Miskel Spillman / Elvis Costello

Miskell Spillman’s Monologue

…..Buck Henry
…..Miskel Spillman

Buck Henry: Thank you. You want me to take that from you..? [ reaches for Mrs. Spillman’s fruit basket ] No.. of course not.

[ Buck addresses the audience ]

A few weeks ago, if you’ll remember, there was a contest running, called the “Anyone Can Host the Saturday Night Show” contest. There were.. many thousands of entries – 150,000, roughly – and there were five finalists that I had the privilege of presenting a few weeks ago. And the final votes were tabulated by, services provided by Ventura Associates. And tonight, by a proximate margin of 15,000 votes, I am honored and pleased to present the winner.. [ tries to take the fruit basket, but is resisted by Mrs. Spillman ] ..of the “Anyone Can Host” contest, your hostess for tonight, Mrs. Miskel Spillman!

[ wild applause from audience ]

Mrs. Spillman, I know that there are probably a number of things that you want to say to the great American audience.

Miskel Spillman: [ still high from John Belushi’s Maui Waui ] Wow! This is really weird! There’s so much happening. But it almsot seems like everything’s in slow motion. I mean.. am I making sense? Or am I blowing it? I don’t know, I can’t tell. The producer, a nice young man, told me to just flow with it and have a good time. But I didn’t really know what he meant.. until Belushi visited me in my dressing room. And the colors. Wow-ow!

Buck Henry: We’ll be right back.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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