SNL Transcripts: Miskel Spillman: 12/17/77: Miskel Spillman’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 8

77h: Miskel Spillman / Elvis Costello

Miskell Spillman’s Monologue

…..Buck Henry
…..Miskel Spillman

Buck Henry: Thank you. You want me to take that from you..? [ reaches for Mrs. Spillman’s fruit basket ] No.. of course not.

[ Buck addresses the audience ]

A few weeks ago, if you’ll remember, there was a contest running, called the “Anyone Can Host the Saturday Night Show” contest. There were.. many thousands of entries – 150,000, roughly – and there were five finalists that I had the privilege of presenting a few weeks ago. And the final votes were tabulated by, services provided by Ventura Associates. And tonight, by a proximate margin of 15,000 votes, I am honored and pleased to present the winner.. [ tries to take the fruit basket, but is resisted by Mrs. Spillman ] ..of the “Anyone Can Host” contest, your hostess for tonight, Mrs. Miskel Spillman!

[ wild applause from audience ]

Mrs. Spillman, I know that there are probably a number of things that you want to say to the great American audience.

Miskel Spillman: [ still high from John Belushi’s Maui Waui ] Wow! This is really weird! There’s so much happening. But it almsot seems like everything’s in slow motion. I mean.. am I making sense? Or am I blowing it? I don’t know, I can’t tell. The producer, a nice young man, told me to just flow with it and have a good time. But I didn’t really know what he meant.. until Belushi visited me in my dressing room. And the colors. Wow-ow!

Buck Henry: We’ll be right back.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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