SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 01/21/78

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 9


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:



Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


January 21st, 1978

Steve Martin

The Dirt Band

Randy Newman

None

None

Mitchell Laurance

State of the Union 1978Summary: Walter Mondale (Bill Murray), Tip O’Neil (John Belushi), and other attending politicians react with boredom to President Jimmy Carter’s (Dan Aykroyd) State of the Union Address.

Recurring Characters: President Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale, Tip O’Neil.

Transcript

Montage

Steve Martin’s MonologueSummary: Steve Martin accuses John Belushi of stealin $59, electrocutes himself, then tells the audience how they can be a millionaire and never pay taxes.

First Hosted: 76e.

Transcript

SwillSummary: A traveling salesman (Bill Murray) savors the flavor of the mineral weater dredged from Lake Erie.

Note: Repeat from: 77b.

The Mystery of BigfootSummary: Park Ranger (Steve Martin) doesn’t realize that the friendly mountaineer (John Belushi) with large feet is the supposed Bigfoot create he’s been hunting.

Transcript

The Festrunk BrothersSummary: Jorge (Steve Martin) and Yortuk Festrunk (Dan Aykroyd) are prepared to swing with a pair of computer dates, fully expecting them to be American girls with big breasts and not like-minded Croatian woman (Jane Curtin, Laraien Newman).

Recurring Characters: Jorge Festrunk, Yortuk Festrunk, Cliff.

Transcript

Dirt Band performs “On the Loose with the Blues”

Body FlossSummary: The Swedish cleaning string that makes hygeine fun.

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydSummary: Consumer reporter Roseanne Roseannadanna (Gilda Radner) wanders from a commentary on a viewer’s heating problem to her disgust with toenails.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Transcript

Randy Newman performs “Short People” & “Rider In The Rain”First Performed: 75b.

Family FeudSummary: The Conehead Family (Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman) compete against the Romaine lettuce-loving Mel Family (Steve Marton, Gilda Radner, John Belushi).

Recurring Characters: Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead.

Transcript

Hollywood HomesSummary: Steve Martin gives a tour of the outsides of the homes of his “close personal friends.”

What If?Summary: Joan Cage (Jane Curtin) and her panel of experts consider the hypothetical prospect of Napoleon (John Belushi) with a B-52 bomber.

Steve Martin and Dirt Band performs “White Russia”

GoodnightsTranscript

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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