SNL Transcripts: Robert Klein: 01/21/78: Giant Lobsters Update


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 11

77k: Robert Klein / Bonnie Raitt

Giant Lobsters Update

…..Robert Klein
…..Jane curtin

[ open on Robert Klein standing at Home Base ]

Robert Klein: You know, one of the joys of hosting this show is the opportunity to work with a wonderful performer like Bonnie Raitt. Bonnie and I first —

[ suddenly, Jane Curtin runs onto Home Base ]

Jane Curtin: Robert! I’m sorry to interrupt you! Please excuse me, but I’ve just been handed a “Weekend Update” bulletin. It seems those giant lobsters as large as helicopters, that were created by the Russian satellite, are moving down the Eastern seaboard towards New York City. [ reading bulletin: ] “Despite efforts by the National Guard, Boston and Providence have fallen before the huge crustaceans. All conventional weapons have proven useless against them. Minutes ago, President Carter declared a state of national emergency, and assured the American people that there was no cause for…” [ she stops ]

Robert Klein: What, is that all there is?

Jane Curtin: The Teletype machine went dead after that.

[ Jane walks away ]

Robert Klein: Well… if you’re an Orthodox Jew and live here in New York, I wouldn’t worry. Because… lobsters don’t eat Orthodox Jews, either!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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