Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 11
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
February 18th, 1978
Chevy Chase
Billy Joel
None
Valri Bromfield
Al Franken
Andy Murphy
Yvonne Hudson
A Former President Speaks to the Nation
Summary: In rebuttal to Ronald Reagan, former President Gerald Ford (Chevy Chase) discusses the advantages of the Suez Canal.
Recurring Characters: Gerald Ford, Betty Ford.
Transcript
Montage
Chevy Chase’s Monologue
Summary: Chevy Chase milks the audience for cheap applause.
Also Hosted: 79j, 82a, 85b, 86f, 91k, 95b, 96m.
Transcript
The Moth Masher
Summary: Pitchman (Dan Aykroyd) demonstrates how to use his masher to preserve moths.
Conversation After Sex
Summary: Terry (Chevy Chase) and his date (Gilda Radner) chat after their one-night stand.
Transcript
Billy Joel performs “Only The Good Die Young”
Also Performed: 81f, 89c, 93d.
King
Summary: John F. Kennedy (Dan Aykroyd) and Bobby Kennedy (Bill Murray) attempt to bug Martin Luther King Jr. (Garrett Morris).
Recurring Characters: John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Bobby Kennedy.
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
Summary: Chevy Chase makes a fake phone call to relieve Dan Aykroyd of his “Weekend Update” duties. Laraine Newman interviews a striking coal miner (Al Franken) who can’t stop coughing. John Belushi’s boxing commentary leads to a vicious attack on Jane Curtin. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) is pleased to see Chevy Chase back at the Update desk. Garrett Morris repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.
Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Transcript
Baggage Inspection Counter
Summary: A dimwitted Customs trainee (Chevy Chase) overlooks the heroin being smuggled in by a couple (John Belushi, Laraine Newman).
Transcript
Bad Day Soundtrack
Summary: In a film by Gary Weis, Laraine Newman confronts the singer (Valri Bromfield) who’s performing the soundtrack to her bad day.
Sermonette
Summary: The Reverend Archbishop Maharishi O’Mulliganstein D.D.S. (Chevy Chase) of the Church of Confusion sermonizes nonsense verse.
Transcript
Somewhere In France, 1944
Summary: German soldiers (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray) try to sneak behind American lines during WW2, only to be stumped by the Sarge’s (John Belushi) baseball quiz question.
Transcript
Billy Joel performs “Just The Way You Are”
No Funny Ending
Summary: Chevy Chase interrupts a Victorian scene with Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman, and Jane Curtin so that he can have more performance time, but no one is able to come up with an ending for the sketch that makes sense.
Recurring Characters: Land Shark, Rod Serling, Truman Capote.
Transcript
Goodnights
Transcript
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