Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 11
February 18th, 1978
A Former President Speaks to the NationSummary: In rebuttal to Ronald Reagan, former President Gerald Ford (Chevy Chase) discusses the advantages of the Suez Canal.
Recurring Characters: Gerald Ford, Betty Ford.
Chevy Chase’s MonologueSummary: Chevy Chase milks the audience for cheap applause.
Also Hosted: 79j, 82a, 85b, 86f, 91k, 95b, 96m.
The Moth MasherSummary: Pitchman (Dan Aykroyd) demonstrates how to use his masher to preserve moths.
Conversation After SexSummary: Terry (Chevy Chase) and his date (Gilda Radner) chat after their one-night stand.
Billy Joel performs “Only The Good Die Young”Also Performed: 81f, 89c, 93d.
KingSummary: John F. Kennedy (Dan Aykroyd) and Bobby Kennedy (Bill Murray) attempt to bug Martin Luther King Jr. (Garrett Morris).
Recurring Characters: John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Bobby Kennedy.
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydSummary: Chevy Chase makes a fake phone call to relieve Dan Aykroyd of his “Weekend Update” duties. Laraine Newman interviews a striking coal miner (Al Franken) who can’t stop coughing. John Belushi’s boxing commentary leads to a vicious attack on Jane Curtin. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) is pleased to see Chevy Chase back at the Update desk. Garrett Morris repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.
Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Baggage Inspection CounterSummary: A dimwitted Customs trainee (Chevy Chase) overlooks the heroin being smuggled in by a couple (John Belushi, Laraine Newman).
Bad Day SoundtrackSummary: In a film by Gary Weis, Laraine Newman confronts the singer (Valri Bromfield) who’s performing the soundtrack to her bad day.
SermonetteSummary: The Reverend Archbishop Maharishi O’Mulliganstein D.D.S. (Chevy Chase) of the Church of Confusion sermonizes nonsense verse.
Somewhere In France, 1944Summary: German soldiers (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray) try to sneak behind American lines during WW2, only to be stumped by the Sarge’s (John Belushi) baseball quiz question.
Billy Joel performs “Just The Way You Are”
No Funny EndingSummary: Chevy Chase interrupts a Victorian scene with Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman, and Jane Curtin so that he can have more performance time, but no one is able to come up with an ending for the sketch that makes sense.
Recurring Characters: Land Shark, Rod Serling, Truman Capote.
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