Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
March 11th, 1978
Art Garfunkel
Stephen Bishop
Andy Kaufman
Lorne Michaels
Tom Davis
Jim Downey
Modern Crimes
Summary: In a silent film, a pair of grave robbers (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd) steal the recently-buried corpse of Charlie Chaplin (Gilda Radner).
Transcript
Montage
Art Garfunkel’s Monologue
Summary: Art Garfunkel receives feedback while performing “What a Wonderful World”, and it sets John Belushi on a rant about how NBC continues to negatively perceive the cast and crew of their late-night enterprise.
Transcript
Kromega III
Summary: The watch so powerful that it takes three hands to operate.
Note: Repeat from: 77a.
Tomorrow
Summary: Tom Snyder (Dan Aykroyd) conducts an anonymous interview with Andy Strauss (Art Garfunkel), a man who is physically abused by his wife.
Recurring Characters: Tom Snyder.
Transcript
Stephen Bishop performs “On & On”
Miracle In Chicago
Summary: Richard Daley (John Belushi)
KISS Concert
Summary: The backstage guard (John Belushi) at a KISS concert is vigilant about who he will or will not let in to visit the band.
Recurring Characters: Jerry Eldini.
Transcript
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
Summary: Garrett Morris demonstrates an anti-clotting drug by viewing a microscopic slide of an old Mighty Nouse cartoon. Bill Murray reviews “Coming Home” and takes back every doubt he’s had about Jane Fondsa since the Hanoi incident.
Art Garfunkel performs “All I Know” & “Scarborough Fair”
Looks At Books
Summary: Jane Curtin interviews nerds Lisa Loopner (Gilda Radner) and Todd DiLaMuca (Bill Murray), the authors of “Whatever Happened to the Class of ’77”.
Recurring Characters: Lisa Loopner, Todd DiLaMuca.
Schiller’s Reel: Don’t Look Back In Anger
Summary: An elderly John Belushi visits the early graves of the Not Ready for Prime Time Players.
Transcript
Andy Kaufman
Summary: Andy Kaufman attempts to read the entirety “The Great Gatsby”, much to the audience’s consternation.
Transcript
The Looking For Mr. Goodbar Sleepytime Playset
Summary: The toy that brings senseless sex and violence to a little girl’s (Gilda Radner) world.
Transcript
Art Garfunkel performs “Crying In My Sleep”
Goodnights
Transcript
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