SNL Transcripts: Jill Clayburgh: 03/18/78


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 14

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

March 18th, 1978

Jill Clayburgh

Eddie Money



Don Novello

Tom Schiller

Rosie Shuster

Alan Zweibel

Anne Beatts

Marilyn Suzanne Miller

Al Franken
Garrett Morris sings “Danny Boy”Summary: This time, Garrett Morris writes the jokey scroll that appears on-screen as he sings an Irish ditty.


Jill Clayburgh’s MonologueSummary: Jill Clayburgh runs short on time while explaining how much more effort she’s going to put into her monologue this time around.

First Hosted: 75o.


Royal Deluxe IISummary: The vehicle that rides smooth enough to allow a rabbi to perform a circumcision in the back seat.

Note: Repeat from: 77a.

Olympia CafeSummary: A new waitress (Jill Clayburgh) finds the static menu choices annoying, while a female customer (Jane Curtin) tries to post a benefit sign for two little boys who swallowed a balloon.

Recurring Characters: Pete Dionasopolis, George Dionasopolis, Sandy Dionasopolis, Nico Dionasopolis, Mike Dionasopolis.


Sybil IIISummary: Ditzy psychoanalyst (Jill Clayburgh) thinks three women named Sybil (Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman) are actually one woman with three split personalities.

Recurring Characters: Colleen Fernman.


Bad One-Man TheaterSummary: Leonard Pinth-Garnell (Dan Aykroyd) presents the one-man play “An Evening With…”, which actually consists of five actors performing rambling monologues simultaneously.

Recurring Characters: Leonard Pinth-Garnell, Steve Bushakis, Ronnie Bateman.

Eddie Money performs “Baby Hold On”

NutrifixSummary: Mom (Jane Curtin) promotes the breakfast-on-the-go substitute,

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydRecurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Everything’s BlurrySummary: On an airplane, a bespectacled woman (Jill Clayburgh) sits next to a proud man (John Belushi) who refuses to acknowledge his own vision problem.


Shower MikeSummary: Richard Herkiman (Bill Murray) interrupts his wife, Jane’s (Gilda Radner), shower to help rekindle the relationship of their neighbors Morty (John Belushi) and Judy Coony (Jill Clayburgh).

Recurring Characters: Richard Herkiman, Jane Herkiman.


The Coneheads On EarthSummary: Prymaat (Jane Curtin) is incensed to discover that Beldar (Dan Aykroyd) has been having an affair with one of his driving students (Jill clayburgh).

Recurring Characters: Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead, Ronnie Getsetter.


Celebrity Crack-UpSummary: Tony Orlando (Bill Murray), Roberty Blake (John Belushi), Richard Pryor (Garrett Morris), and Claudine Longet (Gilda Radner) relate their tales of cracking up to one another.

Recurring Characters: Robert Blake, Tony Orlando.

Eddie Money performs “Two Tickets to Paradise”

RelationshipsSummary: Jill Clayburgh sings a song about relationships.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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