Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 14
March 18th, 1978
Marilyn Suzanne Miller
Garrett Morris sings “Danny Boy”Summary: This time, Garrett Morris writes the jokey scroll that appears on-screen as he sings an Irish ditty.
Jill Clayburgh’s MonologueSummary: Jill Clayburgh runs short on time while explaining how much more effort she’s going to put into her monologue this time around.
First Hosted: 75o.
Royal Deluxe IISummary: The vehicle that rides smooth enough to allow a rabbi to perform a circumcision in the back seat.
Note: Repeat from: 77a.
Olympia CafeSummary: A new waitress (Jill Clayburgh) finds the static menu choices annoying, while a female customer (Jane Curtin) tries to post a benefit sign for two little boys who swallowed a balloon.
Recurring Characters: Pete Dionasopolis, George Dionasopolis, Sandy Dionasopolis, Nico Dionasopolis, Mike Dionasopolis.
Sybil IIISummary: Ditzy psychoanalyst (Jill Clayburgh) thinks three women named Sybil (Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman) are actually one woman with three split personalities.
Recurring Characters: Colleen Fernman.
Bad One-Man TheaterSummary: Leonard Pinth-Garnell (Dan Aykroyd) presents the one-man play “An Evening With…”, which actually consists of five actors performing rambling monologues simultaneously.
Recurring Characters: Leonard Pinth-Garnell, Steve Bushakis, Ronnie Bateman.
Eddie Money performs “Baby Hold On”
NutrifixSummary: Mom (Jane Curtin) promotes the breakfast-on-the-go substitute,
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydRecurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.
Everything’s BlurrySummary: On an airplane, a bespectacled woman (Jill Clayburgh) sits next to a proud man (John Belushi) who refuses to acknowledge his own vision problem.
Shower MikeSummary: Richard Herkiman (Bill Murray) interrupts his wife, Jane’s (Gilda Radner), shower to help rekindle the relationship of their neighbors Morty (John Belushi) and Judy Coony (Jill Clayburgh).
Recurring Characters: Richard Herkiman, Jane Herkiman.
The Coneheads On EarthSummary: Prymaat (Jane Curtin) is incensed to discover that Beldar (Dan Aykroyd) has been having an affair with one of his driving students (Jill clayburgh).
Recurring Characters: Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead, Ronnie Getsetter.
Celebrity Crack-UpSummary: Tony Orlando (Bill Murray), Roberty Blake (John Belushi), Richard Pryor (Garrett Morris), and Claudine Longet (Gilda Radner) relate their tales of cracking up to one another.
Recurring Characters: Robert Blake, Tony Orlando.
Eddie Money performs “Two Tickets to Paradise”
RelationshipsSummary: Jill Clayburgh sings a song about relationships.
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