Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 14
Jill Clayburgh’s Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Jill Clayburgh!
Jill Clayburgh: Hiiii! [ the audience applauds wildly ] Thank you. Oh, it’s really great to be back here. You know, I hosted this show two years ago, and it was really great fun and we’ve been having a great time doing it this year. And, uh — But, you know, when I saw the repeat of the show that I did last time, I learned a very important lesson. I realized that with, you know, well, with the rehearsal and everything — you know, you’re talking all the time — I didn’t really prepare the opening, you know, this part, as well as I should have done it. You know? The opening — well, it’s important because I can be myself and you can get to know me, and I’m not a character — I dn’t have wigs on, I’m not crazy. And, uh — so it’s important to be prepared for that, I want to make a nice impression, I want you to like me. So before I came back this time, i vowed I would learn my lesson from the last time and PREPARE. Well — uh — I learned another lesson this week. I learned that I didn’t really learn my lesson last time. Otherwise, this opening would be a lot funnier and a lot longer than it’s going to be! So I think I really leanred my lesson this time, and if they ever ask me back, I-I’m gonna really WORK on this opening! HARDER than any other part of the show! I mean, I’m gonna really spend a lot of TIME on it! And, uh, it’ll really be GREAT next time. So, until next time… watch this time… and it’s gonna be long and it’s gonna be funny. And, uh, we’ll be right back, after this message.