SNL Transcripts: The Rolling Stones: 10/07/78: Autoscent


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 4: Episode 1

78a: The Rolling Stones


Pat…..Gilda Radner
Joan…..Jane Curtin

Pat: [ sees Joan drive up ] Hi, Joan!

Joan: [ getting out of her car ] Oh, hi, Pat!

Pat: I just thought I’d drop by today to see the color of the handtowels you’re using in the spare bathroom.

Joan: Oh, sure. Come on in.

Pat: [ sniffing ] Hmm.. something sure smells like lilac. Are youwearing a new perfume?

Joan: Thanks, Pat! But it’s not me – it’s my car.

Pat: Your car smells that good?

Joan: Sure.. [ reaches into her shopping bag ] ..with AutoScent, theinternal combustion deodorizer.

Pat: [ reads the bottle ] AutoScent exhaust freshener.. [ happy ]Lilac! How does it work?

Joan: Oh, it’s so easy – here, let me show you. [ opens herhood ] All you do is pump AutoScent into the carborator every 800 miles, orwhenever you want to change the scent.

Pat: Joan, you never told me you knew anything about carborators.

Joan: Oh, sure.. I can tear down a car in nothing flat! But you don’thave to do that to use AutoScent! [ sprays AutoScent into the carborator ]My exhaust has been smelling like lilacs all week, but today I want it tosmell like a pine forest. Go ahead – smell the tailpipe.

Pat: [ kneels down to smell at the rear of the car as Joan pressesthe exhaust pedal, releasing toxic smoke in the air ] Mmm! It reallyworks!

Announcer: AutoScent – the automobile exhaust freshener. In fourexciting fragrances – Lilac, Lemon-Lime, Pine Forest, and Musk. Anenvironmentally-safe pump spray.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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