SNL Transcripts: Fred Willard: 10/14/78


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 4: Episode 2

This free script provided by]]>

Saturday Night Live:
The Complete Fourth Season on DVD

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 14th, 1978

Fred Willard




Alan Zweibel

Honker in the AudienceSummary: Honker (Bill Murray) wanders into the audience with the assumption that he’s at a Yankee game.

Recurring Characters: Honker.


Fred Willard’s MonologueSummary: Fred Willard fools the audience with his Elvis performance, then does a stand-up routine about a kid in school who grabbed his crotch as a punchline for every joke.

Two Guys Who Are LawyersSummary: No lawsuit is too sleazy for Two Guys who are lawyers (Dan Aykroyd, Fred Ward) to pursue.

Recurring Characters: Patty Hearst.


Cliff Preston, Aging StuntmanSummary: Aging stuntman Cliff Preston (John Belushi) continuously injures himself on the job while performing a five-foot jump.

Devo performs “Satisfaction”

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Bill Murray debuts his “Celebrity Corner” segment by interviewing Lucille Ball (Gilda Radner) and her husband Gary Morton (Alan Zweibel). Dan Aykroyd expresses his personal offense with the revealing outfits worn by cheerleaders these days.

Recurring Characters: Lucille Ball.


Five A.M.Summary: A drunken five a.m. phone call on Mary’s (Laraine Newman) line leads to a get-together with her ex-boyfriend, just as soon as her one-night stand (Fred Willard) leaves the apartment.


On the SpotSummary: Joan Face (Jane Curtin) interviews Irwin Mainway (Dan Aykroyd) about the non-nutritional school lunch program contract he has been awarded.

Recurring Characters: Joan Face, Irwin Mainway.


Mr. Bill Goes to New YorkSummary: Mr. Bill continues to be abused by Sluggo and Mr. Hands, even while on vacation in New York City.


Bobbi Farber on the PhoneSummary: Bobbi Farber (Gilda Radner) tells her mother over the phone that she wants to change her kids’ names because everyone else’s kids have the same names,then she can’t get the old lady off the line.

Recurring Characters: Bobbi Farber.

CrossroadsSummary: Cuckolded late night clergyman’s (Fred Willard) sermon tells the stoy of Mohab(?) (John Belushi), an ancient Israelite who longed to worship one god for all purposes, and accepts a test of faith from God (Don Pardo) by sacrificing his idiot son Schlomo (Bill Murray).

The Scotch BoutiqueSummary: Things are slow now at The Scotch Boutique, the new minimall speciality shop that caters specifically to Scotch tape and photocopies, but manager Walker (Fred Willard) is certain things are going to be pick up once people get used to his bold business concept.

Recurring Characters: Floyd Hunger, Jenny Rocker, Kevin.


Booji BoySummary: In a short film by Devo, baby-faced Booji Boy delivers a file that details the truth about de-evolution on their planet.

Devo performs “Jocko Homo”


SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x