SNL Transcripts: Kate Jackson: 02/24/79: Fred Silverman III


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 4: Episode 13

78m: Kate Jackson / Delbert McClinton

Fred Silverman III

Fred Silverman…..John Belushi
…..Garrett Morris
…..Kate Jackson

[HOLD on Silverman and Garrett standing side by side just offstage and nodding at Andy Kaufman passing by them.]

Garrett: [shakes head] Like, I, I, I, I don’t know, Mr. Silverman. “Super Limo”? Like, like, what’s it about, uhhhh…

Freddy: Well, we’re pretty happy with it, Garrett, uh… [rubs his hands together] “Super Limo.” It’s a, it’s a BIG limousine, so big it takes up two sides of the highway.

Garrett: Oh, well, I, I, I don’t know, man…

Freddy: You’re the DRIVER. Every week, you drive three celebrities around Hollywood. And they entertain you because they LOVE you!

Garrett: What kind of celebrities?

Freddy: Who’s ever HOT. One week it might be Steve Lawrence, Don Meredith, Charles Nelson Reilly… Another week it could be Arte Johnson, Ruth Buzzi, JoAnne Worley… you know? A THEME show.

Garrett: Uh, yeah, let me, I, I, I’ll think it over.

Freddy: [puts a hand around Garrett’s neck] Really, Garrett. [quietly] This is a HOT idea.

Garrett: Yeah.

Freddy: [puts hand over his heart] I give you my word as a television executive.

Garrett: [clasps Freddy’s hand] Well, uh, thank you, Mr. Silverman, thank you. I’ve got to be going. [walks past him]

Freddy: I’ll call you.

Garrett: [off camera] Yeah, I’ll check you out, man.

[Freddy straightens his suit for a second, and then Kate Jackson appears to his left.]

Kate: Hey, Freddy.

Freddy: Kate, how’s it going?

Kate: Well, you know, it’s not going too bad.

Freddy: Did you talk to Laraine about the, uh, “Mrs. Kojak”?

Kate: Yeah, won’t shave her head.

Freddy: [frustrated] Yeah, well, Gilda will do it.

Kate: Uh, Freddy, I think I’d better level with you. Um… I like these people, I’m having a lot of fun working with them, and uh… well, you know, they’re like people you can admire, and they’re dedicated to an ideal of artistic freedom, and when I see the way they work, and the sacrifices they make, well, I feel ashamed, you know? They don’t have big houses with swimming pools and tennis courts, and they don’t have fancy apartments, and big, big limos, and cooks.

Freddy: Really?

Kate: No!

Freddy: Not even John Belushi?

Kate: Oh, JOHN does.

[laughter and applause]

Kate: If you could see the dedication of the others! I mean, you know, Freddy, they do this for NOTHING, ‘cause they wanna make America laugh!

Freddy: [scoffing] Mm-hmm.

Kate: Really, now, after spending this time with them, I just… well, I don’t think I can betray them, I really don’t, and, uh… [works up her courage] And furthermore, Freddy, I can’t go back to “Charlie’s Angels,” I can’t go back to prime time, I’ve got to do something NEW, and something BOLD, and–

[Freddy slaps her across the face.]

Freddy: [points at her] Don’t you EVER say that about prime time again!

[subdued laughter]

Kate: Thank you, Freddy, you know… [puts a hand around his neck] You know, for a minute, I really lost control there, didn’t I! [She lingers a moment and then turns to go.]

Freddy: Kate!

Kate: I–

[She stops in mid-motion.]

Freddy: [staring into space] Wait a minute.

Kate: What?

Freddy: [passionately] Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’M the one… who lost his head. [presses a fist against his mouth] Something you said got me thinking. You said something about artistic freedom. Perhaps that’s important. Perhaps there’s a, a place in commercial television for QUALITY, for, for intelligently conceived, well acted, INVENTIVE programming! Programs that aren’t written for the lowest common denominator! [clenches fist] And NBC could lead the WAY! NBC could be the NETWORK that puts these programs on the air!

[They stare at each other for a moment.]

Freddy and Kate: [in unison] Naaaaaaaaah.

[The band starts to play as the audience applauds and the two talk inaudibly. FADE to black.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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