SNL Transcripts: Kate Jackson: 02/24/79: Fred Silverman III

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 4: Episode 13

78m: Kate Jackson / Delbert McClinton

Fred Silverman III

Fred Silverman…..John Belushi
…..Garrett Morris
…..Kate Jackson

[HOLD on Silverman and Garrett standing side by side just offstage and nodding at Andy Kaufman passing by them.]

Garrett: [shakes head] Like, I, I, I, I don’t know, Mr. Silverman. “Super Limo”? Like, like, what’s it about, uhhhh…

Freddy: Well, we’re pretty happy with it, Garrett, uh… [rubs his hands together] “Super Limo.” It’s a, it’s a BIG limousine, so big it takes up two sides of the highway.

Garrett: Oh, well, I, I, I don’t know, man…

Freddy: You’re the DRIVER. Every week, you drive three celebrities around Hollywood. And they entertain you because they LOVE you!

Garrett: What kind of celebrities?

Freddy: Who’s ever HOT. One week it might be Steve Lawrence, Don Meredith, Charles Nelson Reilly… Another week it could be Arte Johnson, Ruth Buzzi, JoAnne Worley… you know? A THEME show.

Garrett: Uh, yeah, let me, I, I, I’ll think it over.

Freddy: [puts a hand around Garrett’s neck] Really, Garrett. [quietly] This is a HOT idea.

Garrett: Yeah.

Freddy: [puts hand over his heart] I give you my word as a television executive.

Garrett: [clasps Freddy’s hand] Well, uh, thank you, Mr. Silverman, thank you. I’ve got to be going. [walks past him]

Freddy: I’ll call you.

Garrett: [off camera] Yeah, I’ll check you out, man.

[Freddy straightens his suit for a second, and then Kate Jackson appears to his left.]

Kate: Hey, Freddy.

Freddy: Kate, how’s it going?

Kate: Well, you know, it’s not going too bad.

Freddy: Did you talk to Laraine about the, uh, “Mrs. Kojak”?

Kate: Yeah, won’t shave her head.

Freddy: [frustrated] Yeah, well, Gilda will do it.

Kate: Uh, Freddy, I think I’d better level with you. Um… I like these people, I’m having a lot of fun working with them, and uh… well, you know, they’re like people you can admire, and they’re dedicated to an ideal of artistic freedom, and when I see the way they work, and the sacrifices they make, well, I feel ashamed, you know? They don’t have big houses with swimming pools and tennis courts, and they don’t have fancy apartments, and big, big limos, and cooks.

Freddy: Really?

Kate: No!

Freddy: Not even John Belushi?

Kate: Oh, JOHN does.

[laughter and applause]

Kate: If you could see the dedication of the others! I mean, you know, Freddy, they do this for NOTHING, ‘cause they wanna make America laugh!

Freddy: [scoffing] Mm-hmm.

Kate: Really, now, after spending this time with them, I just… well, I don’t think I can betray them, I really don’t, and, uh… [works up her courage] And furthermore, Freddy, I can’t go back to “Charlie’s Angels,” I can’t go back to prime time, I’ve got to do something NEW, and something BOLD, and–

[Freddy slaps her across the face.]

Freddy: [points at her] Don’t you EVER say that about prime time again!

[subdued laughter]

Kate: Thank you, Freddy, you know… [puts a hand around his neck] You know, for a minute, I really lost control there, didn’t I! [She lingers a moment and then turns to go.]

Freddy: Kate!

Kate: I–

[She stops in mid-motion.]

Freddy: [staring into space] Wait a minute.

Kate: What?

Freddy: [passionately] Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’M the one… who lost his head. [presses a fist against his mouth] Something you said got me thinking. You said something about artistic freedom. Perhaps that’s important. Perhaps there’s a, a place in commercial television for QUALITY, for, for intelligently conceived, well acted, INVENTIVE programming! Programs that aren’t written for the lowest common denominator! [clenches fist] And NBC could lead the WAY! NBC could be the NETWORK that puts these programs on the air!

[They stare at each other for a moment.]

Freddy and Kate: [in unison] Naaaaaaaaah.

[The band starts to play as the audience applauds and the two talk inaudibly. FADE to black.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts