Eric Idle’s Monologue


Eric Idle’s Monologue

…..Eric Idle

[ Eric Idle is carried in on a stretcher by two hospital interns ]

Eric Idle: [ coughing ] Good evening. [ coughs ] M-my doctor.. said I can go on as long as I’m not funny. [ light laughter from the audience ] Lorne said the show wasn’t funny anyway, so I might as well go on. [ audience laughs ] So.. we’d like to kick off here with a new breakthrough in comedy. We’d like to do some medical impersonations – in particular, some stretcher impersonations.

First of all, the racing driver Sterling Moss. Thank you. [ interns hold Idle’s stretcher straight, as he motions his hands as though driving a race car ] Thank you very much.

And now, Number Two: Superman! [ interns turn the stretcher on one side, as Idle extends his arms outward to simulate flying ] Thank you!

And now, Number Three: Esther Williams! [ interns flip stretcher upside-down, Idle moves his arms to simulate underwater swimming ]

Number Four: Jack LaLanne. [ Idle drops his arms to the floor, as front intern drops and raises the top half of stretcher to simulate Idle doing push-ups ]

I want a more complicated one this time.. [ interns balance the stretcher upright, leaning at an angle as Idle holds his arms flat against his sides ] The Leaning Tower of Pisa! Thank you!

Admiral Nelson! [ interns tilt the stretcher forward at a slight angle, as Idle arranges his hands as though peering through a telescope ] Thank you!

[ interns straighten the stretcher on its side, as Idle ties a black bandana around his eyes ] Gary Gilmore!

[ interns spin the stretcher in a circle, as Idle claps his hands up and down ] A lighthouse! Thank you!

And finally, a tribute to the Marine Corps. Iwo Jima! [ military music plays, as the interns get on the same side to lean the stretcher forward, with Idle waving a tiny American flag ]

We’ll be right back! Thank you!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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