Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 5: Episode 3
People Losing Money For People
Joe Garagiola…..Harry Shearer
[ open on superimposed photo of a Chrysler ] [ Joe Garagiola steps into the frame, the Chrysler visible through his body until the kink is worked out in the Control Room ]
Joe Garagiola: I’m Joe Garagiola, with important news for everybody who bought a Chrysler Corporation car during our BIG rebate offer last month! If you haven’t gotten your rebate check yet, please be patient! [ he holds up a financial headline from the newspaper ] The cash to pay those checks will be IN our account just as soon as we sell a few thousand more fine Chrysler autombiles!
Hey! Maybe you need a second car! Or maybe a recreational vehicle! Well, NOW’S the time to deal! Because the cash you pay on the SECOND car… goes RIGHT into the fund to pay the rebate on the first! [ he holds up a check ] Yep! The more Chrysler Corporation cars you buy, the SOONER you get your rebate! And, to make the deal even sweeter — Chrysler Corporation will give you a promissary note for a discout ON the second car! [ he holds up a promissary note ] And that’s as good as cash, as soon as we pay off our back taxes.
So don’t wait until you may have to get your rebate from the bankruptcy referee! Get down to your dealer now and check it out! Just don’t cash it!