Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 5: Episode 4
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
November 10th, 1979
Buck Henry
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
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Buck’s Story
Summary: While demonstrators protest Buck Henry’s latest hosting gig, Bill Murray offers a heroic war story that explains why Buck is such a frequent host.
Transcript
Montage
Buck Henry’s Monologue
Summary: Buck Henry doesn’t grasp the audience’s ire towards his constant hosting and endless diatribes.
Transcript
Harley’s Bristol Creme
Summary: Sue (Gilda Radner) desperately seeks a companion to share a glass of Harley’s Bristol Creme.
Recurring Characters: Honker.
Transcript
The Mystery Of Toad Island
Summary: Tom Brundidge (Buck Henry) travels to the mysterious Toad Island to uncover his roots, but finds only inbred, toad-like humans who can’t give him a straight answer.
Transcript
The Nerds
Summary: Todd (Bill Murray) and Lisa (Gilda Radner) try to play matchmaker for their parents (Jane Curtin, Buck Henry).
Recurring Characters: Lisa Loopner, Todd DiLaMuca, Mrs. Loopner, Marshall DiLaMuca.
Transcript
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakersperforms “Refugee”
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill Murray
Summary: Jack Van Arks (Al Franken) speaks on behalf of the chemical industry. Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) announces the winner of the Find the Popes in the Pizza contest.
Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.
Transcript
Bad Clams
Summary: Morning show hosts (Garrett Morris, Yvonne Hudson) torment Lucille Ball (Gilda Radner) by feeding her bad clams.
Recurring Characters: Lucille Ball.
How To Talk To Your Grandparents
Summary: Kids (Al Franken, Laraine Newman) employ lessons from instruction record in order to score money off of their grandparents (Gilda Radner, Buck Henry).
Schiller’s Reel
Summary: “Life After Death”.
Note: Repeat from 77f.
Speci-Pak
Summary: Couple (Gilda Radner, Buck Henry) learn how to preserve their severed body parts for safe delivery to the hospital.
Love Contract
Summary: Hampton Jitney (Bill Murray) and Muffy Barber (Laraine Newman) consider marriage, but first their lawyers (Harry Shearer, Buck Henry) collaborate on a contract and go over the fine print.
Transcript
Tom Petty & THe Heartbreakers performs “Don’t Do Me Like That”
Toilet Rush
Summary: Daddy (Buck Henry) rushes his wife (Jane Curtin) and daughter (Gilda Radner) home through hit-and-run encounters so that he can use his own toilet.
Transcript
Goodnights
Summary: The cast chases a rambling Buck Henry out of Studio 8-H.
Transcript
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