Harley’s Bristol Creme


Harley’s Bristol Creme

Sue…..Gilda Radner
Honker…..Bill Murray


[ open on Woman sitting in her apartment engaged in a phone call from the comfort of her couch ]

Sue: Hello, Tom? This is Sue. I’m here all alone in my apartment, and I have some Harley’s Bristol Creme, and I thought maybe you’d want to come over. What? You are? Well, I’m sorry I disturbed you. Okay. Sure.

[ hangs up, tries another number ]

Hello, Stan. Sue. I’m here all alone in my apartment, and I have some Harley’s Bristol Creme, and I was thinking maybe you’d like to come over. Oh. That’s too bad. Okay, yeah.. maybe some other time.

[ hangs up, tries another number ]

Hello, Mike! This is Sue! I’m alone in my apartment, and I have some.. You did? When? Well.. congratulations. Okay, goodbye.

[ hangs up phone, walks over to the window, opens it and yells down below ]

Hey! Hey! You! You want some Harly’s Bristol Creme! Come on up, Apartment 3C!

Announcer: It used to be that a woman couldn’t invite a man over for a drink. All that’s changed now. Harley’s Bristol Creme, over ice. It’s downright upright.

[ Sue is now sharing her Harley’s Bristol Creme with Honker, whom she pulled off the street ]

Honker: Geez, I’m really spinning on this stuff, what the heck do you call it?

Sue: Harley’s Bristol Creme. I knew you’d like it.

[ Sue pulls Honker over so they cna make out ]

Announcer: Harley’s Bristol Creme. Why not invite someone over tonight? It’s downright upright.

SNL Transcripts

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