Harley’s Bristol Creme

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Harley’s Bristol Creme

Sue…..Gilda Radner
Honker…..Bill Murray


[ open on Woman sitting in her apartment engaged in a phone call from the comfort of her couch ]

Sue: Hello, Tom? This is Sue. I’m here all alone in my apartment, and I have some Harley’s Bristol Creme, and I thought maybe you’d want to come over. What? You are? Well, I’m sorry I disturbed you. Okay. Sure.

[ hangs up, tries another number ]

Hello, Stan. Sue. I’m here all alone in my apartment, and I have some Harley’s Bristol Creme, and I was thinking maybe you’d like to come over. Oh. That’s too bad. Okay, yeah.. maybe some other time.

[ hangs up, tries another number ]

Hello, Mike! This is Sue! I’m alone in my apartment, and I have some.. You did? When? Well.. congratulations. Okay, goodbye.

[ hangs up phone, walks over to the window, opens it and yells down below ]

Hey! Hey! You! You want some Harly’s Bristol Creme! Come on up, Apartment 3C!

Announcer: It used to be that a woman couldn’t invite a man over for a drink. All that’s changed now. Harley’s Bristol Creme, over ice. It’s downright upright.

[ Sue is now sharing her Harley’s Bristol Creme with Honker, whom she pulled off the street ]

Honker: Geez, I’m really spinning on this stuff, what the heck do you call it?

Sue: Harley’s Bristol Creme. I knew you’d like it.

[ Sue pulls Honker over so they cna make out ]

Announcer: Harley’s Bristol Creme. Why not invite someone over tonight? It’s downright upright.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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