SNL Transcripts: Bea Arthur: 11/17/79



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 5: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 17th, 1979

Bea Arthur

The Roches

None

Andy Kaufman
Reagan’s Nap ScheduleSummary: Ronald Reagan’s advisor (Harry Shearer) runs down his schedule as (Laraine Newman) removes his make-up.

Transcript

Montage

Bea Arthur’s MonologueSummary: Bea Arthur gets pianist Paul Shaffer’s heart racing with a rendition of “Let Me Love You”.

Transcript

Spud BeerSummary: The beer of choice among boat people with no place to go.

First He CriesSummary: When Irene (Gilda Radner) loses a breast due to cancer, the aftermath is hardest on her husband Larry (Bill Murray).

Transcript

Drop OutSummary: When Tommy (Tom Davis) declares he doesn’t feel like going to school, his dad (Bill Murray) decides to show him and stays home from work, thus setting off a chain reaction that results in the Soviets taking over America.

Transcript

The Roches perform “Bobby’s Song”

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Science editor Dr. Al Franken experiments with cruel and unusual ways to kill cockroaches.

Transcript

Aunt Judy’s BasementSummary: During Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Judy’s (Bea Arthur), adult siblings and cousins (Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman, Bill Murray, Paul Shaffer) continue to be relegated to the kiddie table in the basement and act in an appropriately childish manner.

Transcript

Woman To WomanSummary: Ultra-feminist Connie Carson (Gilda Radner) tries to discredit her elderly guest (Bea Arthur) for having raised perfect children while still managing a satisfactory in-home career.

Recurring Characters: Connie Carson.

Transcript

SaveCoSummary: Tom Clay (Harry Shearer) recalled government products being offered for a fraction of the original costs.

Recurring Characters: Tom Clay.

Transcript

Backer’s AuditionSummary: Musicians Teddy Naddler (Harry Shearer) and Andrew Mazelle (Paul Shaffer) sell a group of backers on the idea of financing a Broadway rock-musical about Charles Manson.

Transcript

Mr. Bill Builds A HouseSummary: In a film by Walter Williams, Mr. Bill encounters construction mishaps at the hands of Mr. Hands and Sluggo the insurance agent.

Transcript

Los Beatolos CubanosSummary: Latin band (Pater Aykroyd, Garrett Morris, Tom Schiller, Paul Shaffer) performs their own version of Beatles hits.

Andy Kaufman PreviewSummary: Andy Kaufman announces his challenge to have a woman wrestle him on SNL’s Christmas show.

Transcript

The Roches performs “Hallelujah Chorus”

GoodnightsTranscript

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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