SNL Transcripts: Bea Arthur: 11/17/79: Bea Arthur’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 5: Episode 5

79e: Bea Arthur / The Roches

Bea Arthur’s Monologue

…..Bea Arthur
…..Paul Shaffer

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Bea Arthur!

Bea Arthur: Oh, thank you! Thank you! Wow! Thank you, thank you so much! It is so good to be back in New York, and it’s great to be appearing live. You know, the Broadway stage is part of my background — especially musicals. And I love to sing. And I was really thrilled when they told me I could do a song on the show. And I must say, I’ve been rehearsing all week with a most MARVELOUS, MARVELOUS musician… Mr. Paul Shaffer.

[ she stands over Paul Shaffer at the piano, as the audience applauds ]

Bea Arthur: He’s just FABULOUS! And we would like to do an old Vaughn Howard song, called “Let Me Love You”. Paul?

[ singing ]“Let me love you
Let me say that I do
If you lend me your ear
I’ll make it clear that I do.
Let me whisper it
Oh, let me siiiiigh it
Let me sing it, my dear
Or I will cryyyyy it.

Let me love you
Let me show that I do
Let me do a million impossible things
So you’ll know that I do
I’ll buy you the dawn
If you’ll let me love you today
And tomorrow I’ll send you merrily on… your way.”

[ the audience cheers as Arthur concludes the song ] [ she leans over to kiss Paul Shaffer, but he pulls her down across her lap and gives her a wet, sloppy kiss on the lips ]

Bea Arthur: [ leering into the camera ] We’ll be right back!

Audience Member: Go, Paul!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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