Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 5: Episode 6
December 8th, 1979
Great Moments in Rock & RollSummary: Early in his career, James Brown (Garrett Morris) is forced to abandon his Scottish musical roots.
Recurring Characters: Don Kirshner, James Brown.
Howard Hesseman’s MonologueSummary: Howard Hesseman whips the audience into a pro-restraint chant.
The Bel AirabsSummary: Profiteers (Howard Hesseman, Garrett Morris) attempt to swindle the newfound fortune of Abdul Asad (Don Novello) and his clan.
Recurring Characters: Mudhad Asad, Fatima Asad, Abdul Asad, Granny, Miss Hathaway.
Randy Newman performs “It’s Money That I Love” & “I’m Gonna Take Off My Pants”
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Chico Escuela (Garrett Morris) gives a sports update and tries to avoid mentioning Anita Dark. Al Franken announces that the 1980’s will henceforth be known as The Al Franken Decade.
Recurring Characters: Chico Escuela.
BoyfriendsSummary: Susan’s (Gilda Radner) feelings for boyfriend Jerome (Howard Hesseman) are complicated by a visit from ex-lover Scott (Bill Murray).
Stereo 105Summary: Obnoxious morning jock Steve Marvin (Harry Shearer) interviews former radio man Howard Hesseman.
The Nuclear FamilySummary: Family unit (Howard Hesseman, Jane Curtin, Peter Aykroyd, Laraine Newman) are oblivious to the negative aspects of living between a pair of nuclear reactors.
Randy Newman performs “The Story of a Rock & Roll Band”
“First Love”Summary: In a film by Aviva Slesin, Jane Curtin tries desperately to catch up with her first love, Walter Cronkite.
The Holiday Inn Horror Summary: A couple’s (Bill Murray, Jane Curtin) relaxing hotel stay is interrupted by maid Rosa Santangelo’s (Gilda Radner) 6:30 a.m. vacuuming duties.
Recurring Characters: Rosa Santangelo.