SNL Transcripts: Ted Knight: 12/22/79

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 5: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 22nd, 1979

Ted Knight

Desmond Child & Rouge

Andy Kaufman

Buddy Rogers

Bob Zmuda

Diana Peckham

Teri Garr
A Christmas Gift from the Shah and his FriendsSummary: The Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlevi (Bill Murray) invites his special American friends to his home in Panama for a televised Christmas party all Americans can enjoy.

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Anwar Sadat, Henry Kissinger.


Ted Knight’s MonologueSummary: Ted Knight claims to be Steve Martin’s dad, then performs some of his “son”‘s comedy routine.


Diff’rent StorksSummary: Eager to capitalize on its young star, NBC advertises a new pair of hastily-produced sitcoms starring Gary Coleman.

Grievance BoardSummary: Chudd Insurance Corporation board members (Harry Shearer, Bill Murray, Garrett Morris) decide sexual harrassment case between Miss hoben (Jane Curtin) and Mr. Kramer (Ted Knight).


A Message From Bob KoppSummary: Local policeman Bob Kopp (Ted Knight) warns citizens to watch out this holiday season, or else.


Desmond Child & Rouge perform “Tumble In The Night”

The Tonight ShowSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will be guest-hosting “The Tonight Show”.

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Consumer reporter Roseanne Roseannadanna’s (Gilda Radner) charity commentary strays to other gross topics.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Nerds’ NativitySummary: Mr. Dunwoody (Ted Knight) struggles through a rehearsal of the Nativity pageant that stars Lisa Loopner (Gilda Radner) and Todd DiLaMuca (Bill Murray) as Mary and Joseph.

Recurring Characters: Lisa Loopner, Todd DiLaMuca, Mrs. Loopner, Artie, Grant Robinson, Jr.


Andy Kaufman Wrestles A WomanSummary: Boastful Andy Kaufman challenges Diana Peckham to pin him in three minutes.

Bob Hope’s Christmas In TehranSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will appear on Bob Hope’s latest Christmas special.

Sammy Seltzer, Jr.Summary: Sammy Davis, Jr. (Garrett Morris) introduces a stomach soother to help people feel better after being overexposed to the one-eyed entertainer over the Christmas holidays.

Recurring Characters: Sammy Davis, Jr.

Java JunkieSummary: After drinking a couple of innocent cups, Joe’s (Peter Aykroyd) life spirals out-of-control because he can’t shake the coffee monkey off his back.


Christmas DecorationsSummary: Suburban family endures visiting granddad’s (Ted Knight) overzealousness for Christmas decorations.

Iran: The Country And The CrisisSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will appear on Bob Hope’s latest Christmas special.

Desmond Child & Rouge perform “Goodbye Baby”


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