SNL Transcripts: Ted Knight: 12/22/79


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 5: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 22nd, 1979

Ted Knight

Desmond Child & Rouge

Andy Kaufman

Buddy Rogers

Bob Zmuda

Diana Peckham

Teri Garr
A Christmas Gift from the Shah and his FriendsSummary: The Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlevi (Bill Murray) invites his special American friends to his home in Panama for a televised Christmas party all Americans can enjoy.

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Anwar Sadat, Henry Kissinger.


Ted Knight’s MonologueSummary: Ted Knight claims to be Steve Martin’s dad, then performs some of his “son”‘s comedy routine.


Diff’rent StorksSummary: Eager to capitalize on its young star, NBC advertises a new pair of hastily-produced sitcoms starring Gary Coleman.

Grievance BoardSummary: Chudd Insurance Corporation board members (Harry Shearer, Bill Murray, Garrett Morris) decide sexual harrassment case between Miss hoben (Jane Curtin) and Mr. Kramer (Ted Knight).


A Message From Bob KoppSummary: Local policeman Bob Kopp (Ted Knight) warns citizens to watch out this holiday season, or else.


Desmond Child & Rouge perform “Tumble In The Night”

The Tonight ShowSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will be guest-hosting “The Tonight Show”.

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Consumer reporter Roseanne Roseannadanna’s (Gilda Radner) charity commentary strays to other gross topics.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Nerds’ NativitySummary: Mr. Dunwoody (Ted Knight) struggles through a rehearsal of the Nativity pageant that stars Lisa Loopner (Gilda Radner) and Todd DiLaMuca (Bill Murray) as Mary and Joseph.

Recurring Characters: Lisa Loopner, Todd DiLaMuca, Mrs. Loopner, Artie, Grant Robinson, Jr.


Andy Kaufman Wrestles A WomanSummary: Boastful Andy Kaufman challenges Diana Peckham to pin him in three minutes.

Bob Hope’s Christmas In TehranSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will appear on Bob Hope’s latest Christmas special.

Sammy Seltzer, Jr.Summary: Sammy Davis, Jr. (Garrett Morris) introduces a stomach soother to help people feel better after being overexposed to the one-eyed entertainer over the Christmas holidays.

Recurring Characters: Sammy Davis, Jr.

Java JunkieSummary: After drinking a couple of innocent cups, Joe’s (Peter Aykroyd) life spirals out-of-control because he can’t shake the coffee monkey off his back.


Christmas DecorationsSummary: Suburban family endures visiting granddad’s (Ted Knight) overzealousness for Christmas decorations.

Iran: The Country And The CrisisSummary: NBC announces that Gary Coleman will appear on Bob Hope’s latest Christmas special.

Desmond Child & Rouge perform “Goodbye Baby”


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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