SNL Transcripts: Teri Garr: 01/26/80


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 5: Episode 9

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

January 26th, 1980

Teri Garr

The B-52s


John Anderson

Akira Yoshimura

Sarah Paley

Max Pross
Sarducci in TokyoSummary: Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) is jailed in his attempt to land an interview with Paul McCartney in Tokyo.

Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.



Teri Garr’s MonologueSummary: Teri Garr is anxious to get her hosting duties started.


Craig’s Traveler’s ChecksSummary: You can enjoy a worry-free vacation even if you lose Craig’s (Jim Downey) Traveler’s Checks, because he never leaves his apartment.

Note: Repeat from 79a.

CaucusSummary: Desperate for votes in Iowa, George Bush (Jim Downey), Ted Kennedy (Bill Murray), and other presidential candidates perform odd chores for Mrs. Volger (Teri Garr).

Recurring Characters: George Bush, Ted Kennedy, Rosalynn Carter.


Debs Behind BarsSummary: Spoiled rich girls find that life in prison is tough and a major bummer.


The B-52’s perform “Rock Lobster”

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Sports commentator “Big” Vic Ricker (Harry Shearer) discusses the Olympic boycott. Laraine Newman interviews colleg student Scott Gunderson (Peter Aykroyd) about the military draft. Al Franken updates America on his decade and advises them to buy gold in order to further his own gold investments.

Recurring Characters: Vic Ricker.

Anchovy Council of AmericaSummary: Members of the Anchovy Council seek outside suggestions for improving anchovy use throughout America.

Bad PlayhouseSummary: Lady Pinth-Garnell (Laraine Newman) presents a bad production of “The Great Mr. Potato Head Famine”.

Recurring Characters: Ronnie Bateman.

Baby MogulSummary: Baby mogul Paula Kirsch (Laraine Newman) wants to cast her mother (Teri Garr) in Marilyn Mazelman’s (Gilda Radner) “Little Bo Peep” picture.

The Mr. Bill ShowSummary: Psychiatrist Mr. Hands helps Mr. Bill off of Skid Row by hypnotizing him into visits of past traumas.


The B-52’s perform “Dance This Mess Around”


SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x