SNL Transcripts: Kirk Douglas: 02/23/80



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 5: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


February 23rd, 1980

Kirk Douglas

Sam & Dave

None

Lorne Michaels

Peter Aykroyd

Mitchell Laurance

Tom Schiller

Alan Zweibel

Paul Shaffer
Kirk’s Dressing RoomSummary: Gilda Radner brings her Aunt Margie backstage to meet the real Kirk Douglas, who’s not as he appears in the movies.

Transcript

Montage

Kirk Douglas’ MonologueSummary: Kirk Douglas introduces his biggest fan in the audience — his goddaughter, Alexandra.

Transcript

What If?Summary: Spartacus (Kirk Douglas).

The Micro-DentistsSummary: Micro-dentists team (Kirk Douglas, Bill Murray, Laraine Newman) shrink their size so they can fix Anwar Sadat’s (Garrett Morris) teeth and battle Taste Buds.

Recurring Characters: Anwar Sadat.

Sam & Dave performs “You Don’t Know Like I Know”

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill MurraySummary: Ronald Reagan (Harry Shearer) demonstrates some off-color jokes in his new commercial. Al Franken wants to reinstate the draft so he won’t have to go to war.

Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan.

Nick CollinsSummary: A drunken Nick Collins (Bill Murray) performs at the Lieberman bar mitzvah.

Recurring Characters: Nick the Lounge Singer.

Prime Time SaturdaySummary: Tom Snyder (Harry Shearer) interviews the brothers of Republican Party candidates.

Recurring Characters: Tom Snyder.

Transcript

Kirk’s Greatest KirksSummary: Kirk Douglas does impressions of the people who do impressions of him.

Schiller’s ReelSummary: In “Mask of Fear”, a tense breaking-and-entering episode turns into an afternoon of skiing.

Sam & Dave perform “Soul Man”

Sardi’sSummary: Sardi’s bathroom attendant (Gilda Radner) asks Kirk Douglas for his autograph.

GoodnightsTranscript

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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