SNL Transcripts: Elliot Gould: 11/15/80: American Cancer Society


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 1




80a: Elliot Gould / Kid Creole & The Coconuts

American Cancer Society

Spokeswoman…..Gail Matthius

Spokeswoman: Hello! I’m from the American Cancer Society, with an important message for all women.

You know, breast cancer used to be a taboo subject, especially on TV. But, fortunately, today we are able to talk about it freely and openly. Learning how to examine your breasts can help save your life. There’s a simple procedure for dong this, which I will now demonstrate. Please watch carefully, observing all my movements.

[ she unbuttons her blouse and rips it off, as a black bar covers her full frontal ]

Spokeswoman: [ touching her breasts behind the black bar ] Begin here… touching this. Use this to probe that. Check to see if there’s anything like that. Then glide that along like this, like that, to see if there’s anything like this or that. Next, flex this firmly, while pressing that. Then flex this while pressing that. Finally, squeeze this between this and that. And that will look like this. Do not do this like this… or these will look like this. Do this like that, and that will look like this. And, lastly, one word of warning: If anything like… this… looks anything like… that… consult your doctor immediately. That could be fatal.

Thank you!

[ dissolve to title card ]

Announcer: The preceding public service announcement was brought to you by the Service for Public Service Announcements.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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