SNL Transcripts: Ellen Burstyn: 12/06/80

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 6: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 6th, 1980

Ellen Burstyn

Aretha Franklin

Keith Sykes


Mitchell Kriegman
A Message From David RockefellerSummary: David Rockefeller (Charles Rocket) announces that the United States is going co-op and poor people will be emigrated back to poor countries.



Ellen Burstyn’s MonologueSummary: Ellen Burstyn lists her movie roles and admits it’s time she lightened up.


Ed McMahon School of LaughingSummary: Spokesperson (Joe Piscopo) explains how you can become a studio audience member and get paid for laughing like the very best.

What’s It All AboutSummary: Pinky (Denny Dillon) and Leo Waxman (Gilbert Gottfried) interview Ellen Burstyn.

Recurring Characters: Pinky Waxman, Leo Waxman.

The Rocket ReportSummary: Charles Rocket uncovers a sex expose on a ferry leaving New York.

Video DateSummary: Jersey guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) records a dating video.

Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.

Aretha Franklin performs “United Together”

Weekend Update with Charles RocketSummary: Joe Piscopo comments on the Roberto Duran vs. Sugar Ray Leonard fight. Raheem Abdul Muhammed (Eddie Murphy) gives his stance on the quota for white basketball players issue. Dr. Calvin Zuko (Gilbert Gottfried) comments on the myth of the female orgasm.

Recurring Characters: Raheem Abdul Muhammed.

Our Front DoorSummary: A suburban family examines a junkie’s (Charles Rocket) lifestyle.

“Pepe Gonzales”Summary: In a film by Leon Ichaso, the life of Pepe Gonzalez (Gilbert Gottfried), the only bullfighter in New York, is examined.

Planned ParenthoodSummary: Valley girls Vickie (Gail Matthius) and Debbie (Denny Dillon) visit Planned Parenthood.

Recurring Characters: Vickie, Debbie.

Aretha Franklin performs “Can’t Turn You Loose”

Sam The SnakeSummary: Mary Louise (Denny Dillon) terrorizes her tutor (Ellen Burstyn) with a sock puppet.

The Toni Tennille ShowSummary: Toni Tennille (Ann Risley) interviews murderess Jean Harris (Denny Dillon).

“Fish Heads”Summary: In a music video by Bill Paxton, many uses are found for discarded fish heads.

Note: One of the most popular songs to ever hit the radio airwaves via the syndicated Dr. Demento program.

Blame The KidsSummary: Mom (Ann Risley) and Dad (Charles Rocket) blame their divorce on their two kids (Mitchell Kriegman, Gail Matthius).

Keith Sykes performs “B.I.G.T.I.M.E.”

The Old LadySummary: A school girl (Gail Matthius) uncovers the secret of the scary old lady (Ellen Burstyn) who lives in the neighborhood.



SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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