SNL Transcripts: Ellen Burstyn: 12/06/80: Ellen Burstyn’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 3



80c: Ellen Burstyn / Aretha Franklin, Keith Sykes

Ellen Burstyn’s Monologue

…..Ellen Burstyn

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Ellen Burstyn!

Ellen Burstyn: Hi! I’m Ellen Burstyn! I’ve got a lot of friends here tonight, because after the show we’re gonna have a little celebration because, at the stroke of midnight, it’s gonna be my birthday. [ the audience cheers ] And I’m gonna be 48 years old. [ the audience whoops ] And I want to tell you kids that are 20 and 30: You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! The 40’s are TERRIFIC! I’m having the BEST time I’ve ever had in my whole life! That’s why I wanted to do this show, you know. I’ve done all these heavy, dramatic parts:

In “Resurrection”, I play a woman who goes over a cliff in a car, dies, and comes back to life with both her legs broken.

Even in “Same Time, Next Year”. It was a comedy — I played an adulteress.

“The Exorcist”: I played the mother of a little girl with a slight personality disorder.

Uh — in “King of Marvin Gardens” I shot and killed Bruce Dern.

And in “Dream of Passon”, I murdered my three children all together.

So I say it is time to LIGHTEN UP!! [ the audience cheers ] Lets have some fun!! We’re gonna be right back!!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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