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Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 5
80e: David Carradine / The cast of The Pirates of Penzance
Dylan & Guthrie
Nurse…..Ann Risley
Woody Guthrie…..David Carradine
Bob Dylan…..Patrick Weathers
Nurse: [ entering ] Excuse me. Excuse me, Mr. Guthrie, but that young Mr. Dylan is here to see you. Now, would you like me to tell him to leave?
Woody Guthrie: Nahhh. Send the kid in.
Nurse: Okay, okay…
Woody Guthrie: He makes me laugh, you know? It take a lot to laugh. It takes a train to cry.
Nurse: That’s right. [ calling into the hallway ] Okay, you can come in.
[ Bob Dylan saunters in with his guitar ]Bob Dylan: Hey! Hey, Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a song!
Nurse: Please, please. Quiet, please. This is a hospital.
[ the Nurse exits the room ]Bob Dylan: Gee whiz! I didn’t mean to upset your nurse none.
Woody Guthrie: Aww, that’s just like a woman, kid! But don’t think twice, it’s alright.
Woody Guthrie: What are you doing, writing a book?
Bob Dylan: Don’t mind me, Woody — just keep on a-talking.
Woody Guthrie: Ah, yeah. Well… I’m just blowing in the wind these days. Hell, I feel like I’m a-knock-knock-knocking on Heaven’s door. But I don’t know, I… I just keep hoping I shall be released.
Bob Dylan: Hmm…
Woody Guthrie: It’s like I was saying to Mick Jagger the other day: I can’t get no… satisfaction!
Bob Dylan: Who?
Woody Guthrie: You don’t know him, he’s a complete unknown. He’s like a… rolling stone.
Bob Dylan: Yeah. I can relate to that. I’m a complete unknown, no direction home.
Woody Guthrie: Like a rolling stone?
Bob Dylan: Yeah.
Woody Guthrie: How does it feel?
Bob Dylan: It’s alright.
Woody Guthrie: Hey, that’s right! I said that to Ray Charles just the other day. [ he pauses ] What’d I say?
Bob Dylan: It’s alright.
Woody Guthrie: Yeah! It’s alright! I said it to him a whole BUNCH of times!
Bob Dylan: Yeah. Hey, Woody, uh — listen to this song I wrote for you here. [ he strums his guitar ands sings ] “Hey, hey, Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a song.” What you think?
Woody Guthrie: Well, kid, you may not have much as a writer, but, uh… you got a great VOICE! Listen, do it more like this. Uh — [ strumming and singing ] “Heyyyy, Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a SONG!”
Bob Dylan: [ enunciating ] “I wrote you a SONG!”
Woody Guthrie: Yeah! Yeah!
[ the Nurse re-enters, appalled ]Nurse: I don’t believe you!
Woody Guthrie: It ain’t me, babe! Oh, no, no, no, it ain’t me!
Nurse: Well, I’m sorry, but it’s time for your sedative.
Woody Guthrie: [ to Dylan ] Ah, you see, kid? They’ll stone you when you’re playing your guitar.
[ Dylan writes this down ]Nurse: Well, you must not feel so all alone. Everybody must get stoned, as you put it.
Bob Dylan: Hey. Can I stick around and see if he talks in his sleep?
Nurse: Now, look — lights out an hour early tonight. Remember, it’s Daylight Savings.
[ the nurse exits the room ]Woody Guthrie: Well, kid —
Together: The times, they are a-changing!
[ the camera pulls out on the set, with SUPER: “Coming Up: The Immoral Minority” ] [ fade ]