Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 6
80f: Ray Sharkey / Jack Bruce & Friends
Commercial For Nothing
Spokesman…..Joe Piscopo
Spokesman: Hi, everybody! Here’s great news! It’s here! The greatest little discovery EVER! There’s absolutely NOTHING to mix or measure! No moving parts! No messy creams!
[ the sales pitch expressions randomly begin to fill the screen ]Here’s how to order: Trace your face on a piece of paper, and send $9.99 to Box 0, New York, New York 99999! Be sure to include ring size! Don’t delay, because when they’re gone… they’re gone!
Do it today! Send no money! Just rush $9.99 to Box 0, New York, New York 99999!
Specify one or two-car garage! And remember: No guarantee! No money back! No product! Please check Red, Blue, Green, or Natural Oak!
[ fade ]