SNL Transcripts: Ray Sharkey: 01/10/81: To Tell the Truth


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 6: Episode 6

80f: Ray Sharkey / Jack Bruce & Friends

To Tell the Truth

Number One…..Matthew Laurance
Number Two…..Charles Rocket
Number Three…..Eddie Murphy

[ open on silhouettes of three men ] [ camera zooms in on first man as his face is lit ]

Announcer: Number One: What is YOUR name, please?

Number One: My name is… Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno.

Announcer: Number Two?

Number Two: My name is Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno.

Announcer: And Number Three?

Number Three: My name is Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno!

Announcer: [ reading ] “I, Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno, was once one of the highest members of the Mafia. I have personally murdered many people, some of them close friends. When I learned there was a contract out on my life, I decided to turn government conformant. Since then, I have become responsible for the convictions of Teamster officials in San Francisco, and Mafia bosses in Los Angeles and New York. In addition, my testimony has led to a grand jury investigation of Frank Sinatra’s alleged ties with convicted mobsters. At this moment, the Mafia is OUT to get me, and my life isn’t worth a plug nickel.”

Now! Will the REAL Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno… please step forward?

[ the three men make half-hearted attempts to step forward and back in an effort to tease the audience, until Number One finally steps forward to reveal his true identity ] [ the audience applauds ] [ Number Two whips out a pistol and shoots Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno in the back of the head ] [ as Fratianno drops dead, Number Three looks at Number Two with grave concern ] [ Number Two wraps his arm around Number Three’s neck and points his gun at his face ]

Number Three: [ panicked ] “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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