SNL Transcripts: Karen Black: 01/17/81: Carters Leave the White House


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 6: Episode 7

80g: Karen Black / Cheap Trick, Stanley Clarke Trio

Carters Leave the White House

Mover #1…..Matthew Laurance
Rosalynn Carter…..Ann Risley
Amy Carter…..Denny Dillon
Jimmy Carter…..Joe Piscopo

[ open on exterior, White House, with SUPER: “Inauguration Day: Oval Office” ] [ dissolve to interior, Oval Office, as moving men stack boxes at the center of the room ]

Mover #1: Mrs. Carter? We’re taking these down to the van now.

[ the moving men wheel the boxes away, revealing Rosalynn Carter crouched in front of the President’s desk trying to pry the Presidential Seal off the front ]

Rosalynn Carter: Well, hurry up! We only have FIVE minutes! Amy! Amy! Get in here with that crowbar! I’m not leaving this house without this seal!

[ Amy runs into the room carrying part of the bannister ]

Amy Carter: I’m sorry, Mama! I needed it for the bannister!

Rosalynn Carter: [ standing ] And, honey, don’t forget about the stairs — if that damn Nancy wants to get up to the second floor, she’s gonna have to CLAW her way up!

Amy Carter: She SCARES me, Mama! You suppose she ever KILLED anyone?

Rosalynn Carter: No, honey — she just MARRIES them instead! [ she finally pries the Presidential seal loose ] Here, Amy, here — put this in the box with the sink. Now… what’s left?

[ Rosalynn begins to take down the drapes ]

Amy Carter: Well, let’s see now… we cleared out the East Wing, and, uh, there’s nothing left in the West Wing. And, uh… I drained the pool! [ she laughs ]

Rosalynn Carter: Leave the diving board!

[ suddenly, Jimmy Carter enters carrying shrubbery ]

Jimmy Carter: This is the last of the Rose Garden! [ he stuffs the shrubs into a briefcase ]

Amy Carter: [ digging through a box ] Look, Mama! I got every DOOR KNOB, every FAUCET HANDLE… I even got the handle to the toilet!

Rosalynn Carter: That’s my Amy!

Jimmy Carter: Well… I guess that’s about everything.

[ the two movers roll the President’s desk out the door, as the red phone begins to beep ]

Jimmy Carter: Ohhhh… that’s the Hot Line. I’ll get it.

[ Jimmy yanks the phone from the wall, wraps its wires around, then tucks the phone under his arm ]

Jimmy Carter: I’ll go get the Welcome Mat!

[ Jimmy exits the Oval Office ] [ outside, a car horn honks ]

Amy Carter: Mama! It’s them! It’s them!

Voice of Nancy Reagan: [ over bullhorn ] WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! IT’S OUR HOME NOW, SO GET OUT! IT’S ALL OVER!

Rosalynn Carter: Oh no, it’s not! It’s… [ she turns to face the camera ] “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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