Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 7
Saturday Night Live Action Dolls
[ open on Charles Rocket standing behind oversized box ]
Charles Rocket: Having trouble finding a gift for that “someone special”? Well, how about “Saturday Night Live” Cast Dolls? Yes! Now you can have your OWN cast party with these life-like adult action toys![ zoom in on the dolls posed inside the box, as Rocket’s hands move them around for different scenarios ]
Hey! Did Ann come to the party with Gilly? No? It’s up to you! Is that Denny passed out on the couch? That’s right — she’s had too much to drink! Look! There’s Joe boogeying with Gail! Oh boy, Joe and Gail are REALLY getting down! [ he mimicks a telephone ringing ] Uh-oh! It’s joe’s wife on the phone! He has to go home! Too bad, Joe! Yes! Hey, look, everybody — Ann’s not wearing any panties! She NEVER does! Or maybe she’s wearing THREE pairs — YOU decide! Hello! Gilly’s gonna be SICK! Gee, Gilly, QUICK — run to the bathroom! HURRY UP!! [ Rocket dunks the Gilly doll over an adjoning toilet ] Ohhhhh, just in time! That leaves Charlie all alone with all the women! Heyyyy, he’s not running away! He can handle that kind of action! [ he mimicks a doorbell ringing ] Oh-oh! That could be the POLICE! Maybe Charlie has to get rid of all his expensive drugs! Look out, Charlie! quick — to the bathroom! RUN!! RUN!! Gilly’s in the way! Alright, get him in the bathroom! Whoo! THAT was just in time! WHAT’S THAT?! It’s just JOE at the door?! It wasn’t the police at all, and he’s forgotten his wallet?! OHHHHH, Charlie is FURIOUS!! [ Charlie maneuvers the two dolls at one another ] Don’t fight, fellas![ Rocket stops playing with the dolls, the camera zooms back out ]
Charles Rocket: Sound like fun? You BET! They’re the “Saturday Night Live” Action Dolls! Action accessories and action apartment not included!