Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 7
Karen Black’s Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Karen Black!
Karen Black: [ lavishing the applause ] Oh, God! I LOVE applause! Oh, really — I would say or do anything to get applause! Oh! What can I think of? Oh, I got one! [ she throws her arms out ] I’m a… MOTHERRRR!! Yeahhhh!! [ the audience applauds wildly ] It does it to me, you know? Let’s see, what else? I don’t use druuuugs! [ light applause, then boos from the audience ] Okay! I use EVERYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON!! [ the audience applauds wildly ] Uh — I don’t eat meat! [ silence ] Okay… alright, wait, I got one: I hate… VEGETABLES!! [ the audience applauds ] Okay, okay… I’m satisfied now. And I want to tel you… [ breathily ] there’s never been anyone like you. Really, you’re the best! Okay — I want to say hello to my son: [ waving into the camera ] Hi, Hunter! I can’t see you from here, honey. And you stay right there, ’cause we’ll be RIIIIIGH BAAAACK!!