Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 9
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
February 7th, 1981
Sally Kellerman
Jimmy Cliff
None
Marc Weiner
Jim Fowler
Andy Murphy
Terry Sweeney
Pam Norris
A Message from the President of the United States
Summary: President Ronald Reagan (Charles Rocket) uses a series of charts to describe the state of the economy, then feigns surprise when guests arrive to celebrate his 70th birthday.
Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan.
Note: 1985-86 cast member Terry Sweeney, who was on the writing staff this season, makes an appearance as one of Reagan’s guests.
Transcript
MontageNote: Eddie Murphy becomes a regular cast member in this episode.
Sally Kellerman’s Monologue
Summary: Sally Kellerman name-drops her movies until the director asks her to stop.
The Rocket Report
Summary: Charles Rocket is on the scene at the welcome home parade for the American hostages who were in Iran.
The Gavonne Family
Summary: Talent scout Lorna Burns (Sally Kellerman) watches a stand-up comedian (Gilbert Gottfried) perform fro his Italian family.
Name That Sin
Summary: Game show contestants (Eddie Murphy, Ann Risley) identify taboos based on sound effects.
“Eye, Ear, Nose & Throat”
Summary: A film featuring close-ups of body parts.
Was I Ever Red
Summary: Snobby women recall their mealtime etiquette faux pas.
Iranian Joke Book
Summary: Wacky jokes you can perform at home and use to fool your friends!
Jimmy Cliff performs “I Am The Living”
Weekend Update with Charles Rocket & Gail Matthius
Summary: Upon discovering that Abraham Lincoln didn’t sign the Emancipation Proclamation wasn’t signed, Eddie Murphy invites viewers to use a secret code to claim a Negro of their very own. Sports reporter Joe Piscopo interviews boxing hand puppet Rocko Weineretto (Marc Weiner).
Note: Charles Rocket wasn’t particularly enthused about having to share screen time with a hand puppet, to which Joe Piscopo later quipped that Rocket was jealous that the puppet got more laughs than he did.
Parent & Child
Summary: Mother (Ann Risley) and father (Joe Piscopo) explain their kinky foreplay habits to their son (Gilbert Gottfried).
“A Day In The Life Of A Hostage”
Summary: Film documentary of a former hostage’s quest for public attention.
Lean Acres
Summary: A counselor (Sally Kellerman) keeps fat farm members (Denny Dillon, Ann Risley) on a strict regimen, causing an audience member to interrupt the sketch in protest of how the overweight are being portrayed.
Transcript
Jimmy Cliff performs “Gone Clear”
Iranian Student Council
Summary: Members of the student council at Tehran University debate ideas for post-kidnapping activities and argue about their graduation prospects.
“New York”
Summary: In a film by C.F. Bressler, New York City is represented through claymation.
Pillow Pets
Summary: A husband (Gilbert Gottfried) is more attention to the needs of his pillow pets than to his own wife (Ann Risley).
Transcript
Televised Criminal Trial
Summary: The Supreme Court broadcasts a criminal trial in the same format as a talk show.
Transcript
Sally Kellerman performs “Starting Over Again”
Goodnights
Transcript
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