SNL Transcripts: Sally Kellerman: 02/07/81

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 9


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

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Bit Players:
February 7th, 1981

Sally Kellerman

Jimmy Cliff

None

Marc Weiner

Jim Fowler

Andy Murphy

Terry Sweeney

Pam Norris
A Message from the President of the United StatesSummary: President Ronald Reagan (Charles Rocket) uses a series of charts to describe the state of the economy, then feigns surprise when guests arrive to celebrate his 70th birthday.

Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan.

Note: 1985-86 cast member Terry Sweeney, who was on the writing staff this season, makes an appearance as one of Reagan’s guests.

Transcript

MontageNote: Eddie Murphy becomes a regular cast member in this episode.

Sally Kellerman’s MonologueSummary: Sally Kellerman name-drops her movies until the director asks her to stop.

The Rocket ReportSummary: Charles Rocket is on the scene at the welcome home parade for the American hostages who were in Iran.

The Gavonne FamilySummary: Talent scout Lorna Burns (Sally Kellerman) watches a stand-up comedian (Gilbert Gottfried) perform fro his Italian family.

Name That SinSummary: Game show contestants (Eddie Murphy, Ann Risley) identify taboos based on sound effects.

“Eye, Ear, Nose & Throat”Summary: A film featuring close-ups of body parts.

Was I Ever RedSummary: Snobby women recall their mealtime etiquette faux pas.

Iranian Joke BookSummary: Wacky jokes you can perform at home and use to fool your friends!

Jimmy Cliff performs “I Am The Living”

Weekend Update with Charles Rocket & Gail MatthiusSummary: Upon discovering that Abraham Lincoln didn’t sign the Emancipation Proclamation wasn’t signed, Eddie Murphy invites viewers to use a secret code to claim a Negro of their very own. Sports reporter Joe Piscopo interviews boxing hand puppet Rocko Weineretto (Marc Weiner).

Note: Charles Rocket wasn’t particularly enthused about having to share screen time with a hand puppet, to which Joe Piscopo later quipped that Rocket was jealous that the puppet got more laughs than he did.

Parent & ChildSummary: Mother (Ann Risley) and father (Joe Piscopo) explain their kinky foreplay habits to their son (Gilbert Gottfried).

“A Day In The Life Of A Hostage”Summary: Film documentary of a former hostage’s quest for public attention.

Lean AcresSummary: A counselor (Sally Kellerman) keeps fat farm members (Denny Dillon, Ann Risley) on a strict regimen, causing an audience member to interrupt the sketch in protest of how the overweight are being portrayed.

Transcript

Jimmy Cliff performs “Gone Clear”

Iranian Student CouncilSummary: Members of the student council at Tehran University debate ideas for post-kidnapping activities and argue about their graduation prospects.

“New York”Summary: In a film by C.F. Bressler, New York City is represented through claymation.

Pillow PetsSummary: A husband (Gilbert Gottfried) is more attention to the needs of his pillow pets than to his own wife (Ann Risley).

Transcript

Televised Criminal TrialSummary: The Supreme Court broadcasts a criminal trial in the same format as a talk show.

Transcript

Sally Kellerman performs “Starting Over Again”

GoodnightsTranscript

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