February 14th, 1981
Funky 4 + 1 More
Is Frank Sinatra a Hoodlum?Summary: President Ronald Reagan (Charles Rocket) discusses the issue with Frank Sinatra (Joe Piscopo).
Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan, Frank Sinatra.
Deborah Harry’s MonologueSummary: Deborah Harry acknowledges her similar-coifed parents in the audience; Cupid (Eddie Murphy) fires his arrow.
“Don’t Look In The Refrigerator”Summary: Expired leftovers are the makings of a new horror movie.
The LivelysSummary: Phil Lively (Charles Rocket) ponders putting his retired game shos emcee father (Don Pardo) in a retirement home.
Recurring Characters: Phil Lively, Francis Lively.
NewsbreakSummary: Eddie Murphy reports on a variety of news topics, including Jean Harris, the fires in Las Vegas, and Poland’s attack on Russia.
Where’s Cooter?Summary: Cooter (Gilbert Gottfried) and his family win accolades as a real-life one-act play, according to the Tennessee Williams Authority.
The Rocket ReportSummary: Charles Rocket cautiously ventures into the unknown to determine how scary Central Park is.
Paulie Herman at Card CornerSummary: Jersey Guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) looks for the perfect Valentine’s card to send to his relatives.
Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.
Deborah Harry performs “Love TKO”
Weekend Update with Charles Rocket & Gail MatthiusSummary: Staunch conservative and Reagan philosopher Atkinson Peabody III (Gilbert Gottfried) explains how various welfare handouts to the homeless cancels out the idea of poor people living in America. The ambassador of Poland (Andy Murphy) expresses glee in his country’s sudden invasion of Russia. Sports reporter Joe Piscopo interviews boxing hand puppet Weindulah (Marc Weiner), who also raps.
Big BrotherSummary: Big Brother (Gilbert Gottfried) keeps a watchful yet shy eye on Michelle Richards (Deborah Harry), whom he wants to ask out.
“Sweet Hearts”Summary: In a film by Leon Ichaso, laundry thieves (Matthew Laurance, Ann Risley) rob women’s undergarments from a laundromat, turn against one another while partying at their hideout.
Soho LesbiansSummary: Upon visiting their neice Susan (Deboah Harry) in Soho, Pinky (Denny Dillon) and Leo Waxman (Gilbert Gottfried) are surprised to learn her true sexual orientaton.
Recurring Characters: Pinky Waxman, Leo Waxman.
Deborah Harry performs “Come Back Jonee”Note: Former Blondie members Chris Stein and Clem Burke join Deborah Harry’s performance.
NewsbreakSummary: Eddie Murphy delivers more information on Poland’s attack strategy against Russia.
King Kong SyndromeSummary: Faye’s (Deborah Harry) date echoes the final scene of “King Kong.”
Valley GirlsSummary: Valley girls Vickie (Gail Matthius) and Debbie (Denny Dillon) run into Tina (Deborah Harry), who dropped out of high school.
Recurring Characters: Vickie, Debbie.
Funky 4 + 1 More performs “That’s The Joint”