Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 10
[ open on Eddie Murphy seated at news desk ]
Eddie Murphy: Good evening. I’m Eddie Murphy, and this is “Newsbreak”.
Jean Harris and her lawyer brought forth conclusive evidence that her former lover, Dr. Tarnauer, was indeed a compulsive womanizer. Pictured here are Mrs. Harris and her lawyer bringing in the doctor’s little black book.
This just in: Within the last hour-and-a-half, there have been no fires in hotels in Las Vegas.
Poland’s new Prime Minister, Wojciech Jaruzelski, whose name is Polish means “The Unpronounceable”, requested that his countrymen remain calm in the face of the massive Soviet build-up. Meanwhile earlier today, a Chicken Delight in Warsaw received a long-distance order from somewhere in Russia for 50,000 chicken dinners. The call requesting no delivery, saying that they would be by later to pick them up.
Eddie Murphy: That’s the news for now. Stay tuned later for a full report from “Weekend Update”. Thank you.
[ fade ]