February 21st, 1981
Rocko vs. WeindulahSummary: Joe Piscopo covers the sports scene as Rocko Weineretto (Marc Weiner) and Weindulah (Marc Weiner) prepare for tonight’s boxing match.
MontageNote: Larry Hagman was the first choice to host this episode, but producers had to settle on “Dallas” co-star Charlene Tilton when Hagman turned down the offer.
Charlene Tilton’s MonologueSummary: Charlene Tilton admits to being smitten with Charles Rocket because he’s the only member of the cast or crew who hasn’t tried to take advantage of her all week.
Backstage JealousySummary: Joe Piscopo vows revenge when he finds out his girlfriend Ann Risley was with Charles Rocket last night.
Greatest Records Of All TimeSummary: Spokesman (Gilbert Gottfried) pitches an album full of the most unlikely make-out music.
Mister Robinson’s NeighborhoodSummary: In the ghetto version of “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood”, foul-mouthed Mr. Robinson (Eddie Murphy) receives a package from Mr. Speedy (Gilbert Gottfried).
Recurring Characters: Mr. Robinson.
Pork ParadeSummary: Pre-parade jitters for the Pork Queen (Charlene Tilton) and her royal subjects.
The Rocket ReportSummary: Charles Rocket takes Charlene Tilton for her first ride on a New York subway.
A Fiddler Be On The RoofSummary: Stevie Wonder (Eddie Murphy) stars as Tevye.
Recurring Characters: Stevie Wonder.
Todd Rundgren performs “Healer”
Weekend Update with Charles Rocket & Gail MatthiusSummary: To combat budget costs, David A. Stockman (Gilbert Gottfried) offers food stamps in exchange for catching criminals.
Haunted Lincoln BedroomSummary: Nancy Reagan (Gail Matthius) makes Doria Reagan (Ann Risley) sleep in the haunted Lincoln Bedroom.
Recurring Characters: Nancy Reagan.
Backstage RevengeSummary: Gilbert Gottfried and Charlene Tilton each vow revenge on Charles Rocket after learning he’s been cheating on them with other women.
The CompetitionSummary: Rival piano players (Gail Matthius, Joe Piscopo) are so competitive that they break each other’s performance fingers.
Speaking OutSummary: Police officer Ruth Warren (Denny Dillon) speaks out on the subject of unauthorized use of handicap toilets.
Women Behind BarsSummary: Fresh-faced woman inmate (Charlene Tilton) is given the treatment by her cellmates (Denny Dillon, Ann Risley, Yvonne Hudson) — a debate on the subject of the adequacy of the American public school system during the Industrial Revolution.
SNL SportsSummary: Puppets Weindulah (Marc Weiner) and Rocko Weineretto (Marc Weiner) box one another.
Submissive Sugar DaddiesSummary: Attractive girl (Charlene Tilton) promotes Submissive Sugar Daddies, pushovers like Ralph who’ll give up their money without expecting anything in return.
Todd Rundgren performs “Time Heals”
Mary Louise’s PartySummary: Denny Dillon performs as Mary Louise, a little who uses her sock puppet, Sam the Snake, to keep her birthday party in order.
After MidnightSummary: Vince Calypso (Charles Rocket) and Marilyn Sparks (Gail Matthius) arouse one another while bathing a dog. The sketch is interrupted when Charles Rocket is shot by an unseen assailant, bringing the night’s “Dallas” parody to a close with a cliffhanger.
Prince performs “Party Up”Note: Prince uses the F-word in his song, but no one seemed to have noticed.
GoodnightsNote: Charles Rocket drops the night’s second F-bomb, a deliberate move which only further aggravated NBC’s dissatisfaction with Jean Doumanian’s role as Producer. Rocket, along with a few other cast members, would be fired shortly after the next live episode.