SNL Transcripts: Charlene Tilton: 02/21/81: Backstage Jealousy

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 6: Episode 11

80k: Charlene Tilton / Todd Rundgren, Prince

Backstage Jealousy

…..Charlene Tilton
…..Charles Rocket
…..Joe Piscopo
…..Ann Risley
…..Gail Matthius

(After the monologue, Charlene runs off to the stage door, where Charles Rocket is waiting for her. He claps, and she gives him a big hug, giggling with excitement.)

Rocket: All right, Charlene!

Tilton: Charlie, how’d I do?

Rocket: You were great. Hey, listen, let’s go to your dressing room, I’ll make a few more notes, okay, give you a couple more ideas? All right.

Tilton: Okay!

(they both run by Joe Piscopo and Ann Risley. Piscopo sits down on the bench with Risley and tries to get affectionate with her by kissing her on the neck)

Risley: No, n-no, no, no, no, no-no more. No more.

Piscopo: Why? What’s wrong? (continues to kiss her)

Risley: What’s wrong? Joe, THIS is wrong! It’s – we just can’t keep on like this! I’m, I, I think we ought to end it.

Piscopo: Aw, come on, Annie …

Risley: No, rea- it’s, it’s over, Joe. It’s over. It’s just too selfish. I mean, we have to think about the show. Look, romance and work just don’t mix.

(she gets up and walks away, leaving Piscopo dejected)

Piscopo: Ann!

(Gail Matthius enters and sits down by Piscopo)

Matthius: Uh, Joe, anything wrong?

Piscopo: Ann doesn’t wanna see me anymore.

Matthius: Oh, why not?

Piscopo: She says romance and work don’t mix.

Matthius: Oh, that’s funny, ’cause I … I called Charlie’s apartment last night about a script, oh, it was about 2 or 3 in the morning and uh, Ann answered the phone.

Piscopo: Wait, wai-wai-wai-wait … she was at Charlie’s apartment?

Matthius: (rolls eyes) Joe, get WITH it! God! Hey, yeah, she’s been at Charlie’s apartment every night this week! I guess they … (suggestively) MUST have been working on a script or something.

(she gets up and walks away. The camera zooms in on Piscopo, revenge on his face)

Piscopo: I’ll get that Charlie Rocket if it’s the last thing I ever do.

(cliffhanger cue)

Submitted by: The G Man

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