Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 6: Episode 11
(the dressing room, backstage. Tilton sits on the same bench, reviewing the script for tonight’s show. Gilbert Gottfried comes in and notices her sitting there.)
Gottfried: (shyly) Um … Charlene?
Tilton: Hi, Gilly!
Gottfried: (sits down) You know, tomorrow, we have the day off. And I was wondering if you’d like to have brunch with me. I mean, I know this place in Brooklyn, you can get unlimited Bloody Marys for five bucks.
Tilton: Aww. (puts her hand on his shoulder) Hey Gilly, uh, I’m really sorry, but I’m having brunch with Charlie at the Plaza.
Gottfried: Oh. Well, well, maybe tomorrow night we can see a movie. I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing “Insatiable” again.
Tilton: Well – Gilly, that’s very nice of you, but uh, I promised Charlie I’d see a show with him. He’s got these great tickets for “Evita.”
Gottfried: Oh, you and Charlie … Ann must be feeling terrible.
Tilton: Ann? What are you talking about?
Gottfried: Oh, oh, you didn’t know that Ann and Charlie have been having this torrid love affair … Ann’s carrying Charlie’s baby.
Tilton: (her jaw drops. she closes the script and suddenly becomes spiteful) That two-timer! I’ll get Charlie Rocket.
(she gets up and leaves)
Gottfried: (now sullenly jealous) Charlie Rocket. How come HE gets to take out all the hosts? Sally Kellerman, Jamie Lee Curtis, Malcolm MacDowell … (stands up) How come nobody wants to go out with me?
Todd Rundgren: (passing by) Uh, uh, Gilly? I’ll go out with you. (tongue in cheek)
(Todd walks out of shot. The camera zooms in on Gottfried’s scowling face)
Gottfried: That Charlie Rocket. I’ll get him if it’s the last thing I do.
Submitted by: The G Man