SNL Transcripts: 10/03/81: Andy Warhol’s TV


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 1

81a: (none) / Rod Stewart

Andy Warhol’s TV

…..Andy Warhol

(Fade in on a pair of legs walking around a house)

Andy Warhol: I, uh, I’m in a modeling career right now. I did two runway shows. I did one for GQ and I heard that you have to sleep with someone to get under the covers. I’m willing to do that.

(Various background voices are heard as Andy makes his way to a bathroom. He turns around to face the camera, but we only see his shadow)

Andy Warhol: What are we doing in here?

(Cut to Andy standing in front of the bathroom wall. As he munches on his apple, the red text “ANDY WARHOL ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE” scrolls up the left side of the screen.)

Andy Warhol: In the first place, I never thought I’d ever be on “Saturday Night Live” because I hate the show. I never watched it. I didn’t think it was that great and if you’re home on a Saturday night, why ARE you home on a Saturday Night and I think all the comedians should be beautiful and not funny. Gee, I heard a great joke yesterday at Holston’s and it was so funny that I thought I’d tell it to you. Uh, where did Prince Charles go on his honeymoon and the answer is “Indiana”.

(The screen slowly fills with static as the credits and copyright date appear below; fade)

Submitted by: Kyleman88

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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