SNL Transcripts: Susan Saint James: 10/10/81


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 2

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

Guest Writer:

October 10th, 1981

Susan Saint James

The Kinks


Andy Warhol

Michael O’Donoghue

Emily Prager

Tom Davis

Andy Murphy

Marilyn Suzanne Miller
ExxicoSummary: “Yesterday’s Technology at Tomorrow’s Prices.”


Susan Saint James’ MonologueSummary: Susan Saint James invites the audience to decide whether her obligatory TV parody sketch will co-star MaCArthur (Tim Kazurinsky), MacBeth (Tony rosato), or McDonald (Joe Piscopo).

Recurring Characters: Ronald McDonald.


McDonald And WifeSummary: In a spoof of “McMillan & Wife”, the husband-and-wife team of Ronald McDonald (Joe Piscopo) and Sally (Susan Saint James) solve an intricate crime mystery without leaving the comfort of their own bedroom.

Recurring Characters: Ronald McDonald.


Buh-Weet SingsSummary: Buckwheat (Eddie Murphy) promotes his new album of popular hits with unintelligible lyrics.

Recurring Characters: Buckwheat.


The Bizarro WorldSummary: Michael O’Donoghue provides a glimpse of the Bizarro World, which mirrors the Earth’s activities. This week: The behavior and decisions of the Bizarro President (Joe Piscopo) are equal to those of Earth President Ronald Reagan.

Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, Jerry Falwell.


Push Button To Explode BuildingSummary: A man (Tom Davis) accidentally demolishes a building when he hits the wrong button at the crosswalk.


Here In a Lifeboat With You

She’s A PigSummary: Ellen (Mary Gross) is shocked to learn that sensible ex-lover Peter (Tim Kazurinsky) is now engaged to a skanky, hell-raising broad named Paulette Clooney (Robin Duke).

Recurring Characters: Paulette Clooney.


Let’s See What’s Bothering BobSummary: A suburban dad (Brian McConnachie) is bothered by something he can’t quite put his finger on.


The Kinks performs “Destroyer”

SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-MurraySummary: Brian Doyle-Murray narrates over footage of excessive floodwaters that cover the entire island of Senesia. Meteorologist Christine Ebersole gets lost in playful banter with Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross, and fails to give her weather report. Sports reporter Joe Piscopo covers the baseball playoffs by tapping various player bobblehead dolls. Eddie Murphy reads a fan mail letter from President Ronald Reagan, which includes a sampling of racist jokes. Following the assassination of Anwar Sadat, Mary Gross suggests that future assassins make a target of themselves.

Single Bars and Single WomenTranscript

Honeymoon VirginSummary: Billy (Tonoy Rosato) is surprised to find that his new bride, Sharon (Susan Saint James), is a 31-year old virgin, and he’s worried that he won’t be able to perform incredible enough for her first time.


Cheap LaffsTranscript

The Kinks performs “Art Lover”

Andy Warhol’s TVSummary: While having make-up applied to his face, Andy Warhol discusses the topic of men wearing make-up.

Alan Alda Sensitivity Training For MenSummary: Would-be macho man (Tony Rosato) learns how apply phony sensitivity so he can pick up broads the Alan Alda way.

SadatSummary: In a film by John Fox, a custodian in Cairo cleans up the mess from the Egyptian victory parade as well as remnants from theassassination of Anwar Sadat this past week.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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