Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 3
81c: George Kennedy / Miles Davis
An Editorial Reply
Marilyn Monroe…..Mary Gross
Announcer: [ over slide ] Here now: Am Editorial Reply.
[ dissolve to October 1981 issue of Life Magazine with Marilyn Monroe on the cover ]
[ dissolve to Marilyn Monroe ]
Marilyn Monroe: [ singing ] “The press is glad to… use my name
Take delight in exploit… ation
That ups their sales and to-ta-ly
Destroyed… my rep… u… tation.”
[ dancing men surround her ]
Marilyn Monroe: [ singing ] “If Life Magazine needs my face to sell issues
Than downers are a girl’s best friend
And guys dressed like me with their… chest stuffed with tissues
Don’t seem very nice
I hear some nights they go on twice!
Well-bred men pick up their pants
Intellects who dissect my fat end
If the future of the presses rest on me in low-cut dresses
Downers are a girl’s best friend.
[ one dancer holds up a copy of Truman Capote’s “Music For Chameleons” ]
Capote!
[ another dancer holds up Arthur Miller’s “After The Fall” ]
Miller!
[ another dancer holds up Garson Kanin’s “Moviola” ]
“Gar… son… Ka… nen
Talk to me, Norman Mailer!
Tell me all about me!
If made-for-TV films don’t mean much, be written
Downers are a girl’s best friend.
And writers who write on the… men I was smitten
with… make so much dough
and write as though they really know.
Dunaway would run away
to play me, though she’d need my rear end!
This is inventive
to me, it’s offensive
Downers are a girl’s best friend.”
[ one dancer holds up a copy of Truman Capote’s “Music For Chameleons” ]
Capote!
[ another dancer holds up Arthur Miller’s “After The Fall” ]
Miller!
[ another dancer holds up an issue of Playboy Magazine ]
Playboy!
[ she pulls on another dancer, who holds up an issue of Time Magazine ]
Time!
“Good! Bye! Norma Jean!
Talk to me, Norman Mailer!
Tell me all about me!
Downers!
These writers are downers.
They make my life rotten.
Downers… are a girl’s best… best friend!”
[ fade ]
