SNL Transcripts: George Kennedy: 10/17/81: 53 at Studio 54

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 3

81c: George Kennedy / Miles Davis

53 at Studio 54

…..George Kennedy
Doorman…..Tony Rosato

[ open on exterior, Studio 54, as George Keendy tries to worm his way through thecrowd ]

George Kennedy: Excuse me. Excuse me, please. Sorry. Excuse me, please, would’ya? Excuse me, I-I’m sorry. Excuse me, please. Pardon me. Excuse me. [ he reaches the Doorman ] Uh — hey, uh?

Doorman: Yeah?

George Kennedy: Excuse me, but I — I think you’ll find my name on your guest list.

Doorman: Oh, yeah?

George Kennedy: Uh-huh.

Doorman: What’s your name?

George Kennedy: Kennedy.

Doorman: Kennedy?

George Kennedy: Uh-huh!

Doorman: Hold it! You’re a —

George Kennedy: Uh-huh!

Doorman: Oh, yeah! Hold on for just a second, let me just take a look… [ he looks through the list ] Oh, here we go.

George Kennedy: George.

Doorman: Kennedy, George.

George Kennedy: Uh-huh

Doorman: George Kennedy?

George Kennedy: Right!

Doorman: [ not so impressed ] Ah. Oh, okay. Uh, Mr. Kenedy, why don’t you just wait over there, we’ll put your name on the list, alright? [ Kennedy appears confused ] Yeah, just wait over there, you’ll be okay. [ Kennedy steps away ] We’ve got a Senior Citizens dance on Saturday night – you know that, right?

[ disco music starts to play, as Kennedy works a few painful moves ]

George Kennedy: [ singing ]
“All the hip joints knew my face
but now my hip joint’s been replaced.
Once I get down, I can’t get off the floor
It’s no fun to be… 53 at Studio 54.

I tripped the light with Jackie O
I danced all night with Brooke and Bo
Even Andy and Divine now seem a bore.
It’s no fun to be… 53 at Studio 54.

It’s no kick to snort and smoke and joke with artists and their models
when you wheeze and cough and only take your drugs from plastic bottles.

Four weeks on, and I stay awake from dinners of Peruvian flake
Now, even Sanka makes me pace the floor.
It’s no fun to be… 53 at Studio 54.

It’s no fun to be… 53 at Studio 54.

It’s no fun to be… 86’d by Studio 54.”

[ Kennedy dejectedly takes his place at the end of the line ]

[ fade ]

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