SNL Transcripts: Lauren Hutton: 11/07/81: TransEastern Airlines


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

TransEastern Airlines

Counter Girl…..Christine Ebersole
Baggage Boy…..Eddie Murphy
Security Woman…..Robin Duke
Pilot…..Joe Piscopo
Stewardess…..Mary Gross

“High above the mountains and the rivers of this country
A silver bird is gleaming in the sun.”

Counter Girl: Hi! I’m Pam, and I’m the gal who tells you we’re overbooked!

“Taking kids to visit Grandma for a big Thanksgiving dinner
And Americans on business or on fun.”

Baggage Boy: Hi, I’m Hank! I’m the guy that loses your luggage!

“From a rancher in Wyoming, to a banker up in Boston
A nation of 200 million sings.”

Security Woman: I’m Judy. I ruin your film by putting it through the X-ray machine, and then I lie about it!”

“All praising our good airline and the good folks at Trans-eastern
It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings.”

Pilot: I’m Ted, and I keep you stacked up over Dallas for three hours!

Jingle: “Sing the praises of an airline.”

Stewardess: I’m Arlene, and I hassle you about carrying too much hand luggage, and make sure there are loads of boring magazines!

Jingle: “and the good folks at Trans-Eastern.”

Stewardess: Incidentally, I’m about as bright as a small appliance bulb!

Jingle: “It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings!”

Announcer: Trans-Eastern. You feel like you never left the ground. Because we treat you like dirt.

SNL Transcripts

Time Warner Cable Packages | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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