Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 5
Counter Girl…..Christine Ebersole
Baggage Boy…..Eddie Murphy
Security Woman…..Robin Duke
“High above the mountains and the rivers of this country
A silver bird is gleaming in the sun.”
Counter Girl: Hi! I’m Pam, and I’m the gal who tells you we’re overbooked!
“Taking kids to visit Grandma for a big Thanksgiving dinner
And Americans on business or on fun.”
Baggage Boy: Hi, I’m Hank! I’m the guy that loses your luggage!
“From a rancher in Wyoming, to a banker up in Boston
A nation of 200 million sings.”
Security Woman: I’m Judy. I ruin your film by putting it through the X-ray machine, and then I lie about it!”
“All praising our good airline and the good folks at Trans-eastern
It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings.”
Pilot: I’m Ted, and I keep you stacked up over Dallas for three hours!
Jingle: “Sing the praises of an airline.”
Stewardess: I’m Arlene, and I hassle you about carrying too much hand luggage, and make sure there are loads of boring magazines!
Jingle: “and the good folks at Trans-Eastern.”
Stewardess: Incidentally, I’m about as bright as a small appliance bulb!
Jingle: “It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings!”
Announcer: Trans-Eastern. You feel like you never left the ground. Because we treat you like dirt.