SNL Transcripts: Lauren Hutton: 11/07/81: TransEastern Airlines

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 5

81e: Lauren Hutton / Rick James & The Stone City Band

TransEastern Airlines

Counter Girl…..Christine Ebersole
Baggage Boy…..Eddie Murphy
Security Woman…..Robin Duke
Pilot…..Joe Piscopo
Stewardess…..Mary Gross

“High above the mountains and the rivers of this country
A silver bird is gleaming in the sun.”

Counter Girl: Hi! I’m Pam, and I’m the gal who tells you we’re overbooked!

“Taking kids to visit Grandma for a big Thanksgiving dinner
And Americans on business or on fun.”

Baggage Boy: Hi, I’m Hank! I’m the guy that loses your luggage!

“From a rancher in Wyoming, to a banker up in Boston
A nation of 200 million sings.”

Security Woman: I’m Judy. I ruin your film by putting it through the X-ray machine, and then I lie about it!”

“All praising our good airline and the good folks at Trans-eastern
It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings.”

Pilot: I’m Ted, and I keep you stacked up over Dallas for three hours!

Jingle: “Sing the praises of an airline.”

Stewardess: I’m Arlene, and I hassle you about carrying too much hand luggage, and make sure there are loads of boring magazines!

Jingle: “and the good folks at Trans-Eastern.”

Stewardess: Incidentally, I’m about as bright as a small appliance bulb!

Jingle: “It’s like flying in a cattle car with wings!”

Announcer: Trans-Eastern. You feel like you never left the ground. Because we treat you like dirt.

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