SNL Transcripts: Bernadette Peters: 11/14/81: Escape From New York Films


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 6

81f: Bernadette Peters / The Go’Go’s, Billy Joel

Escape From New York Films

[ open on theater marquee for “Escape From New York” ]

Announcer: It’s 1981.

[ cut to audiences sitting restlessly inside the theater ]

Announcer: A New York theater is NOW a maximum security prison, in which audiences are FORCED to watch a SICKENING film!

[ cut to montage of stills from the film ]

Announcer: NEVER has such mindless film EXPLODED on the screen.

Kurt Ruusell IS the Bore.

Donald Pleasance IS the English Ham.

Adrienne Bimbo IS the Director’s Wife.

[ cut to audience members scrambling from their seats ]

Announcer: They have 24 hours to KILL every living trace of wit and intelligence. This is the story of a crazed audience that cannot survive such a vicious onslaught of stupidity. UNLESS they…

[ cut to title card ]

Announcer: “Escape From Escape From New York”.

[ cut to circular pan of the theater district ]

Announcer: And at a theater directly next door… the ironic, bittersweet story of how a crazed audiences escaped from “Escape From New York”… ONLY to be trapped in the latest nine-hour version of a cinematic classic by Martin Scorcese:

[ cut to theater marquee ]

Announcer: “New York, New York”.

Robert DeNiro IS the Mumbler.

Liza Minnelli IS the Dog.

Abandon all hope of waking up, UNLESS you…

[ cut to title card ]

Announcer: “Escape From New York, New York”.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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