SNL Transcripts: James Coburn: 02/06/82: Jesus in Blue Jeans



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 11



81k: James Coburn / Lindsey Buckingham

Jesus in Blue Jeans

Jerry Falwell…..Brian Doyle-Murray

Jerry Falwell: Parents, are you troubled by moral decay, rampantamong today’s teenagers? Hello, I’m Reverand Jerry Falwell. Have you everwondered what your young people are listening to on those tiny headphonesof theirs? I can assure you it’s not our Master’s voice. No, sir,it’s the secret stereophonic whisperings of Satan. How many times have weseen a youngster listen to a rock and roll recording, and then talk back tohis parents and fornicate? Never forget that it’s only a short skip fromthe phonographic needle to the hypodermic needle. Rock and roll music isthe Devil’s music – until now. Because for just $9.98, you can use thissame music to deliver your children from evil. It’s all here in my newborn-again rock and roll collection: Jesus in Blue Jeans. Youget 24 great rock hits, but no sex and no drugs – just good rockin’ lovesongs to God. Here’s just some of what you get.

[ SUPER: “Help Me, Jesus ]Jingle:
“Help me, Jesus, Help, help me, Jesus
Help me, Jesus, Help, help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jesus, Help, help me, Jesus
Help me, Jesus, Help, help me, Jesus!”

Jerry Falwell: These are great rock and roll classics.

Jingle:
“It’s my party, and I’ll pray if I want to
pray if I want to
pray if I want to.
You would pray, too, if it happened to you!”

Jerry Falwell: “The Messiah’s Back”.

Jingle:
“The Messiah’s back, and there’s gonna be trouble.
(Hey-la, hey-la, the Messiah’s back!)
Satan’s here, you’d better cut out on the double.
(Hey-la, hey-la, the Messiah’s back!)”

Jerry Falwell: And how about my personal favorite..

Jingle:
“Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got God in my tummy..”

Jerry Falwell: You even get this great Christmas classic:

Jingle:
“Baby Lord, my Baby Lord
I need you, oh how I need you.”

Jerry Falwell: Ah, my Lord, that’s righteous music! If youlove your children, just send me that $9.98. But remember the Lord worksin mysterious ways, so allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. And, if you ordernow, we’ll send you, absolutely free, a one-year subscription to AllAlong the Watchtower magazine. Send for my record today, or burnin hellfire eternal.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of