Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 13
Big Damn Plastic Bubble
[ Pleasant music plays. A picture of a white house is shown. ]
Eddie Murphy V/O: We all know that years of wind and weather can turn a beautiful home like yours into an ugly eyesore.
[ Fade to a picture of the same house, all cracked and dry. ]
Eddie Murphy V/O: But what if you could protect your home? What if you could keep it beautiful forever, with a giant see-through plastic bubble?
[ Fade to a picture of the same house, pristine, with a big plastic bubble over it. Eddie then appears in a square in the top right corner. ]
Eddie Murphy: Well, you can’t! They don’t make no damn plastic bubble, you stupid idiot! And even if they did, how you gon’ find one big enough to fit over your house, right? What you gon’ do, how you gon’ get it home? Tie it on top of your damn station wagon? All right?
[ Eddie now takes up the whole screen ]
Eddie Murphy: But let’s say you could get one, right, if you sittin’ around in this big stupid plastic bubble over your house, right? Now you got it made, right? You didn’t stop to think, right, what happens when you get hungry, right? How you gon’ bring food inside there? They can’t deliver sandwiches with a big plastic bubble over your house, right? What they gon’ do then, right? The best part about that, I was thinkin’, right, what happens when you run out of air, right? You inside a space for about five days, you run out of air. Don’t you feel stupid now, sittin’ in that bubble, dead, huh? You feel real dumb, right? Let me tell you somethin’, man. If you feel that you’ve got to have this plastic bubble, and you got to spend your money on it, here’s Mel, he’ll tell you how to do it. Plastic bubble, y’all some stupid people out there …
[ Fade to a picture of the house with the plastic bubble over it. An address appears over this still. ]
Mel Brandt V/O: Thanks, Eddie! Send check or money order to Big Damn Plastic Bubble, Rockefeller Plaza, New York, New York, 10020. Do it today!
Submitted by: G. Gomez