SNL Transcripts: Blythe Danner: 03/27/82

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 15


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March 27th, 1982

Blythe Danner

Rickie Lee Jones

Michael Davis

None

Neil Levy
Lorne Greene For AlpoSummary: Lorne Greene’s (Joe Piscopo) canine pal attacks him because he’s the meat dogs love.

Recurring Characters: Lorne Greene.

Transcript

Montage

Blythe Danner’s MonologueSummary: After confusing Blythe Danner for an actress who recently portrayed Elenour Roosevelt, Mary Gross forces Danner to perform a series of classic female celebrity impressions.

Bio: Most recognized for her stage work by the time she hosted SNL, Blythe Danner (1943-) was married to TV producer Bruce Paltrow, and is the mother of actors Gwyneth and Jake Paltrow.

America Is Turning GaySummary: Spoofing Dr. Pepper’s “Be A Pepper” and “America’s Turning 7-Up” jingles, Americans dance in the streets to celebrate their sudden openness in being gay.

Accidental CelibacySummary: While explaining their sex-free hobbies to dinner guests Andy (Brian Doyle-Murray) and Barbara (Christine Ebersole), Steve (Tim Kazurinsky) and Doreen (Robin Duke) hit upon the realization that neither one wanted to be celibate in the first place. Now charged with pent-up energy, they quickly rush their guests through dinner so they can get rid of them.

20/20Summary: Geraldo Rivera (Joe Piscopo) looks for conspiracies and cover-ups in a Mount Sinai Hospital delivery room as a woman (Blythe Danner) prepares to give birth.

Recurring Characters: Geraldo Rivera.

Transcript

The Khaddaffi LookSummary: Jordache spoof gives the Libyan dictator his own clothing line.

Note: Repeat from 81a.

Reclusive PoetSummary: Reclusive poet Ariel Feeley (Mary Gross) lives a strange life making up games with lint in an isolated room and plucking hairs off her sister’s (Robin Duke) chin. The inertia is broken when ex-prisoner/poet Tyrone Green (Eddie Murphy) enters through the window looking for valuables. There are none, but Tyrone and Ariel are fans of one another’s work, and make a date for the evening.

Recurring Characters: Tyrone Green.

Rickie Lee Jones performs “Pirates (So Long Lonely Avenue)”Lyrics

The Fifties Are BackSummary: At an 80’s dance, a couple (Tim Kazurinsky, Blythe Danner) explains that the 50’s mentality are alive once again in the 80’s.

SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-Murray & Christine EbersoleSummary: Christine Ebersole fills in for Mary Gross, who appears on-assignment at Vince Edwards house to await the shittle landing. Yvonne “Spike” DeMouchier (Robin Duke) comments on the fashion disasters of the Best Actress nominees. Joe Piscopo declares Georgetown the NCAA champion over North Carolina because of its attractive co-eds. Brian Doyle-Murray announced that he’s the proud new uncle of Bill Murray’s son Homer Banks Murray.

Note: Bloopers abound as Christine Ebersole fumbles with her microphone, and Brian Doyle-Murray delivers his first story without his microphone.

Michael DavisSummary: Entertainer Michael Davis juggles a bowing ball, a tomato and an egg, with the added bonus of eating the tomato as he juggles it.

The Uncle Tom ShowSummary: Now relegated to hosting a kiddie’s show while dressed in a hige, floppy bow tie, Tom Snyder (Joe Piscopo) interviews brash-mouthed Gumby (Eddie Murphy) about the scandals that exist among cartoon characters.

Recurring Characters: Tom Snyder, Gumby.

Meet The PeopleSummary: Purportedly famous newsman Brian Doyle-Murray moderates as Princess Di (Christine Ebersole) answers off-topic questions from normal, everyday people (Robin Duke, Blythe Danner, Tony Rosato).

Recurring Characters: Princess Di.

Help Blythe DannerSummary: As a costume designer (Robin Duke) brings in a tuna fish costume for the next sketch, Blythe Danner makes a plea to the audience to provide funding to prevent stage stars like herself from having to appear on SNL.

Transcript

Rickie Lee Jones performs “Lush Life”

Rickie Lee Jones performs “Woody & Dutch On The Slow Train To Peking”Note: Rickie Lee Jones performs this extra song after announcing there’s seven minutes and twenty seconds left in the show.

GoodnightsTranscript

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